Grateful Heart

I have so, SO MUCH to be grateful for this season of Thanksgiving. I get all warm just thinking about it all. I considered making a list but that felt a little generic. But it also felt hard to just pick one thing to write about that I'm grateful for. I almost felt stuck about where to go with this one. I almost considered just doing something else altogether.

I stared at the screen for far longer than it typically takes for me to come up with a post. Actually, I usually have the post thought out in my head before I even open the computer. But there I sat, feeling empty, when I knew I wanted to say something about gratitude.

Did you know this time last year I was secretly planning a wedding? It wasn't a complete secret, but most people thought we would be getting married in April, when in reality we were going to get married in less than a month. To the outside it probably looked like the sweetest thing ever! On the inside it was right and good, and what we wanted, but wasn't exactly happening in our time frame.

My husband and I had been together for many years at this point. We both knew we weren't going anywhere, but we weren't really talking about marriage. It had come up here and there, but no real plan. Our decision to get married came rather, well, abruptly. I was afraid people would assume there was some bad reason we decided to get married quickly. I assure you there wasn't. 

The truth was, simply, it was time. No real, romantic proposal. No months on end planning the perfect day. And other than being very sick on the day of our wedding, it was exactly what I wanted. A day for my best friend and myself. We didn't have to worry about anything else. Just making a promise to the Lord that we were all in. 

 A little back story, this abrupt engagement and then marriage came from a rather uncomfortable conversation with a leader in our faith community. It's crazy how even the difficult things in life can be used for good by our good God. This uncomfortable conversation may not have been how we wanted to the conversation to go, but it was truth, and it was what we needed to move forward. And don't be confused, we love each other very much. We weren't pushed into being married, well, maybe nudged a little, but it was ultimately our decision and what we wanted.

But, why am I telling you this story in a Thanksgiving post titled Grateful Heart?

Because we needed that uncomfortable nudge! We need to be grateful for not just the amazing things the Lord does for us. For all of the things that turn out well or go the way we planned them. We need to be grateful for people who are willing to have hard, truthful conversations. We need to be people who are willing to have hard, truthful conversations. 

We need to be grateful that everything doesn't always go our way. In our tiny little minds we think we have it all planned out sometimes. We rationalize choices we make. We get laser focused on our goals and where we are going and we miss out on the goodness God actually had planned for us.

He sees the whole giant panoramic picture and all we see is the tiny frame we are currently in. I hope my husband would agree, but getting married was the best decision we ever made together. It improved our relationship that much more. We thought things were great, we had a good relationship. For me, I am amazed sometimes at just how much better things are, and not just in our relationship, but it has carried over into so many other areas as well. That's not to say there are not difficult days and situations, there are. The bible says: I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 - He said you will, not if you will.

So, I'm grateful that even when I mess up over and over again. Even when I take control of the reigns in ALL of the things, God never leaves me, he never stops loving me. I'm grateful his love isn't conditional and that he is the most patient being ever. 

My goal is that I hope this story encourages you to step back and take a look at anything in your life you might be frustrated with, or maybe just stagnant in. Things aren't bad, but they are just going anywhere. Where might God be calling you to make a change? Where might God be desiring a difficult conversation to help you or someone else get to the other side?

He's a good, good God. Follow Him.