Giving Tuesday!

Giving Tuesday is a day set aside to encourage giving back and to help others in need. A lot of emphasis is placed on financial giving. But what if we inventoried our giving a little deeper than that.

What if we reflected on what we were giving, not just financially, but of our whole self. Who and what are we giving too? Is it enough? Is it what God is asking of us? Are we taking on too much and giving more of ourselves when God has called us to ask for help?

Time - Oh how the enemy uses time and ways to waste our time, to distract us from what God is calling us to do. We think of our call as this giant thing, but it might be as simple as calling a friend, or sitting on the porch with a neighbor instead of scrolling social media or binging Netflix.

Talent - We live in a world of comparison, I think we often think we are never good enough. We have constant access to people we think can do the same thing better than us. The problem with that is God isn't calling us to be the BEST at everything, maybe anything. He's calling us to use the talent he gave us, where we have to use it. It's his strength and power that will do the rest.

Finances - We have endless ways to spend our money at the click of a button. Our entire sermon this past Sunday was on finances, and the "rich". As Americans, I think we often get our wants and needs confused. Again, comparison has made it easy to think we never have enough. Confusing our wants and needs, might make our budgets tighter and financial giving/ sacrifice less than they should be.

Home - I am so fortunate to have a home. However, I don't think God allowed us this whole house just for us to live in. It should be open to letting others in as well. This might be small groups, friend and family gatherings, and many other opportunities.

Community - We could live in absolutely any community, anywhere. Why has God placed you where you are? Your town, your neighborhood? How can you be a better neighbor? How can you serve in your community? How can you make your community a safer place for others?

Work - I'm pretty sure God did not place us in our jobs just to bring home a paycheck. Nothing is by coincidence. We are in the place of employment we are in, to serve Him. There are people there who need you. They may need to hear the gospel, but they may also need to see the gospel, they may need a friend, they may need a church invite, they may need just to be seen. You are where you are for a reason.

One of my favorite quotes to reflect on says, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'. Erma Bombeck

I think about this on a smaller scale each night. Did I use everything God gave me to use today? Or did I keep a little in the reserves? Do I not trust He will provide again tomorrow?

It's like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness. God provided exactly what they needed for each day. They were told not to store up for other days, but that God would provide just enough. (Exodus 16) He does the same for us, in all those above areas and more. He gives us just enough resources to accomplish whatever his will is for the day. He will give us strength, physically and mentally, He will give us financial resources, talent, time, and anything else we need. Just enough for each day, then we are to rest and he will give us enough for the next day.

Where could you trust God more to help you give back, or give more out of what he has already provided for you each day? It's a question I'm asking myself as well. 

Grateful Heart

I have so, SO MUCH to be grateful for this season of Thanksgiving. I get all warm just thinking about it all. I considered making a list but that felt a little generic. But it also felt hard to just pick one thing to write about that I'm grateful for. I almost felt stuck about where to go with this one. I almost considered just doing something else altogether.

I stared at the screen for far longer than it typically takes for me to come up with a post. Actually, I usually have the post thought out in my head before I even open the computer. But there I sat, feeling empty, when I knew I wanted to say something about gratitude.

Did you know this time last year I was secretly planning a wedding? It wasn't a complete secret, but most people thought we would be getting married in April, when in reality we were going to get married in less than a month. To the outside it probably looked like the sweetest thing ever! On the inside it was right and good, and what we wanted, but wasn't exactly happening in our time frame.

My husband and I had been together for many years at this point. We both knew we weren't going anywhere, but we weren't really talking about marriage. It had come up here and there, but no real plan. Our decision to get married came rather, well, abruptly. I was afraid people would assume there was some bad reason we decided to get married quickly. I assure you there wasn't. 

The truth was, simply, it was time. No real, romantic proposal. No months on end planning the perfect day. And other than being very sick on the day of our wedding, it was exactly what I wanted. A day for my best friend and myself. We didn't have to worry about anything else. Just making a promise to the Lord that we were all in. 

 A little back story, this abrupt engagement and then marriage came from a rather uncomfortable conversation with a leader in our faith community. It's crazy how even the difficult things in life can be used for good by our good God. This uncomfortable conversation may not have been how we wanted to the conversation to go, but it was truth, and it was what we needed to move forward. And don't be confused, we love each other very much. We weren't pushed into being married, well, maybe nudged a little, but it was ultimately our decision and what we wanted.

But, why am I telling you this story in a Thanksgiving post titled Grateful Heart?

Because we needed that uncomfortable nudge! We need to be grateful for not just the amazing things the Lord does for us. For all of the things that turn out well or go the way we planned them. We need to be grateful for people who are willing to have hard, truthful conversations. We need to be people who are willing to have hard, truthful conversations. 

We need to be grateful that everything doesn't always go our way. In our tiny little minds we think we have it all planned out sometimes. We rationalize choices we make. We get laser focused on our goals and where we are going and we miss out on the goodness God actually had planned for us.

He sees the whole giant panoramic picture and all we see is the tiny frame we are currently in. I hope my husband would agree, but getting married was the best decision we ever made together. It improved our relationship that much more. We thought things were great, we had a good relationship. For me, I am amazed sometimes at just how much better things are, and not just in our relationship, but it has carried over into so many other areas as well. That's not to say there are not difficult days and situations, there are. The bible says: I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 - He said you will, not if you will.

So, I'm grateful that even when I mess up over and over again. Even when I take control of the reigns in ALL of the things, God never leaves me, he never stops loving me. I'm grateful his love isn't conditional and that he is the most patient being ever. 

My goal is that I hope this story encourages you to step back and take a look at anything in your life you might be frustrated with, or maybe just stagnant in. Things aren't bad, but they are just going anywhere. Where might God be calling you to make a change? Where might God be desiring a difficult conversation to help you or someone else get to the other side?

He's a good, good God. Follow Him.

Fitting in

We just finished up Revelation Wellness Instructor Training Virtual Retreat for platoon 31. It was an incredible 4 days of worship, workouts, bible study and personal growth. I hope to share more from retreat over time. I'm still really processing so much, but I couldn't wait to share one of my main AHA moments.

On day 3 we attended a workshop titled, "Restoring & Reclaiming Body Image." I was immediately interested in this workshop from the title alone. I struggle greatly with body image, always have. Even after I lost 130 pounds back in 2017, I still struggled. I still saw myself as an almost 300 pound woman. There were things I still wouldn't do because I thought I was too heavy to do them. I'm not sure some of that will ever change. 

In this workshop, our presenter, Rachael Gilbert, shared about her struggles with body image. Then gave us an assignment to complete. In the assignment, we were to make a timeline of moments that impacted our core beliefs about ourself.

There were examples and she talked us through ideas to help us think about what we might include in our timeline. The timeline could and should include positive and negative events. And these events could be small things, or large traumatic things. 

Once we made our timeline she asked us to pick one to work through with her. After choosing our one event, we were to pick our feeling about this event. I wrote down, I felt like I didn't fit in. 

God spoke to me in this moment, not audibly of course, but he stirred the thought inside of me that I was never suppose to fit in. I was set apart. Set apart, that's the words that just kept repeating in my head. 

This thing, being set apart as a Christian, a good thing, was twisted by the enemy and essentially made me make myself small for so many years. I knew I didn't fit in at some point. That made me as a young person uncomfortable. The enemy used that feeling to keep me sad, lonely, and striving to fit in. 

Nearly all my life I've felt I don't fit in. I've given up so much of who I am over time to try to fit in, in so many situations. All the drinking and partying in my 20's, all to fit in. The bad relationships, to fit in, somewhere, with someone. The yo-yo dieting, to fit in. Only in more recent years have I really stopped caring about fitting in. 

Even still, not caring as much didn't make the feeling disappear, I just don't give it the same room to grow now. But do you know what God told me last Friday? You were never made to fit in. You belong to me. You have been and are loved with an everlasting love. You are mine.

Cue the tears.

He gave me these two verses:

Jerimiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

And to make sure I was really listening. Our next workshop was called "Experiential". We had a balloon and a marker that had been mailed to us weeks earlier for this workshop. We were to write on the balloon one lie the enemy had us believing. I stuck with the not fitting in, even though I'd already had my AHA and started to squash the lie. But I wrote it on my balloon, blew it up, tied it, and then we were told to pop our balloons. A piece of paper with a handwritten message fell out of the balloon. The message had been written especially for us. 

Mine said: You are treasured.

Treasured, which means, valued highly.

I've been His all along. I want to say I wasted so many years, but God wastes nothing. I'm just a slow learner, I've proved that in many ways. My story is His story and now I can more than just not care if I fit in, I can embrace the one to whom I belong.

Thorn in my Side

I was standing outside a local food truck the other night waiting to pick up dinner. All while staring at the Mexican restaurant across the street where I had a meeting for lunch earlier in the day. I had to mentally pat myself on the back that I didn’t eat at the Mexican restaurant, because I knew I was eating out that night. I ate my leftovers instead.

But standing there waiting for my food I started thinking about the food I had ate that day. My thought was how even though calorie wise it was clearly plenty of food, it didn’t seem like “a lot”. And I like to eat. 

That’s when it hit me. It was this thought that popped in my head and spoke to me., saying, this is the thorn in your side. 

Food. My weakness that God can use. (Clearly not the only one ;) ) The thing that tempted Eve in the garden. The same thing that tempts me today. When I continually overeat, it’s like telling God I don’t trust that I will be nourished and fed.

This is the thing that keeps me close to Jesus. It may sound silly to you, but it’s true. I am never closer, seriously, it’s that much of a struggle for me, than when I’m seeking God to help me nourish my body and not just partake in every bit of food placed in front of me. Or seek out all the snacks. 

Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:7b-9, “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I’m still a ways away from verse 10 though: That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I know, understand, that only Christ can help me where I’m weak. I speak the words that I need Christ to help me where I am weak. But I would not say I often delight in my weakness. I find my weakness annoying, as would be a thorn in my side.

When things go wrong, I want to find the solution, and then suggest to God how WE can fix it. Instead of just taking it to him and see what he would have me do. Same with food, I often take the next diet or program to him and ask him to bless it by making the scale drop. 

This time is different. I’ve taken my hunger to him and asked him to help me exert self control when needed. I’ve asked him to help me learn real hunger from emotional hunger. I’ve asked him to remind me he is enough and that food can never be my comforter, because that is his job.

I'm praying I learn to find JOY in this weakness. That I accept this thorn in my side, that might be here for life. I’ve seen what happens when I think I’ve got this whole thing figured out, I start relying on myself again. I want to stay close to God, more than I want a number on a scale. So, here is to me starting to accept this food struggle, and that it may just be here to stay.