Lessons learned from Gideon-a series (Part 1)

It has been three days now since I took part in the Priscilla Shirer simulcast on Gideon. I was blown away by the connections God was making with me through Priscilla. God was preparing my heart long before Saturday though. And one thing Priscilla told us was don't despise the preparation process! I'm so thankful I chose to take part.

The devil was however also at work early on. But as usual we know who got the victory!

Even with everything going on in my life, or maybe because of everything going on in my life I decided a couple months ago I wanted to offer the ladies at church the opportunity to participate in this simulcast. I was excited, I love any excuse for us all to get together. However life began to happen, things got busy, and everyone else was equally as busy. I had not gotten any response at church and things had gotten crazy at home. So I'll admit, I didn't push the event like maybe I should have. I just didn't see where the extra time to put the event together was going to come from. Grandpas care had become more involved, my mom had her health scare, track practices and meets, other momly duties, everyones grocery shopping, organizing the backpack materials for a local school this month, my sister coming, etc. I just got overwhelmed. So while I would have loved the distraction and opportunity to get together with some of my favorite ladies for the day, I honestly have to say I wasn't disappointed not to have to plan it. Please hear me, I don't mean not having the event, just not planning it.

God was speaking to me through all those things I listed above though and I was really trying to listen. By Wednesday or Thursday last week I still had no response so I called the event off. Wednesday however a voice, a nudging, was alsomtelling me, you don't need other people to participate, do it yourself.

Hmmm...

That's a big commitment. To give up an entire Saturday to sit and do an event alone. An event definitely meant to be done as a group.

Hmmm...

But the more I thought about it the more I figured I might as well. Since I was not doing the event at the church I would be staying with my grandpa Friday night. Instead of leaving grandpas Saturday around noon I could just stay until the event was over. Grandpa normally rests during the day and my mom would get a couple extra hours at home. Seemed like a win for both of us.

Stay with me there's a point to all this grandpa stuff. God is continually using our time together to speak to me.

Friday my grandpa had a spell again. These spells cause him to come unresponsive for a short time then pretty much cause him to sleep the rest of the day. We aren't sure what causes these spells but they sure are scary for whoever is with him when they happen. Grandpa did not wake up until 9:00 Friday night. Meanwhile Friday afternoon I posted a blog titled empty, something God has been working on with me for months. I must pour my, well, everything out and give God the space. I must get out of the way.  I want Him to be what people see in me.

Grandpas spell and sleeping all day however kept him up all night (normal) and all morning (not normal). Grandpa and I had breakfast and I was ready to start the simulcast. I headed to the couch and left him at the table. (His meals can take a couple hours). Still being in night mode grandpa was still very chatty, often with people who weren't even here. I got up often to check on him, clear his dishes and respond. After he finished he did the weirdest thing, or it at least seemed really weird at the time. It may have meant nothing to others but I think there was definitely something to it. He began walking towards me repeating over and over... and over "let me fill your cup". All I could think of was how can I make him understand, I don't have a cup! All I was trying to do was worship with Anthony Evans (which was AWESOME and not just because he's nice to look at) and here was grandpa staring me down talking about filling a cup.

It wasn't until halfway through the light clicked and I got it. I let Him fill my cup that day, and plan to keep letting Him fill it.

Grandpa was up packing (normal) the whole morning.  He laid down about the end of the first session and thankfully rested until the last session ended. It still amazes me when I look back and see how God was preparing things and working behind the scenes.

There is so much I want to tell you about this day. I obviously could not fit it into one blog post. So here starts a series, I haven't even gotten started on the content of the simulcast yet. I hope you will join me! (And if you wish you could take this journey for yourself, you can. The simulcast is available until June 1 via digital pass at lifeway.com.)

Empty...

An empty page. That's what it all starts as, just an empty page. Then I try to fill it with words. Words about all kinds of topics. Generally words on whatever God is working on in my heart at the moment. Sometimes words about life in general. I want the words to mean something, even if only to me. I do not want to just put random words on the page for the sole purpose of filling the page. Words mean a lot to me. I love to read and I love music. Both because of their words. 

A song lyric speaking to me right now is from Meredith Andrews latest CD: Worth it all. The song is titled " Start with me" The lyrics are:

You are air to desperate lungs
Water falling on the sand
Silence to an angry storm
Sight to a blind man
You're still the God, a miracle
So if You're gonna move again
Then would You move in me?
Move in me

You're the beat to a broken heart
Bread for a hungry crowd
And one word from Your voice rings out
And the dead throw the grave clothes down
Cause You're still the God of the empty tomb
The one who came alive again
So come alive in me
Come alive in me
Come alive in me
Come alive in me

My life is an empty cup
Fill it up, fill it up!
I wanna hear every rescued heart cry
You're enough, You're enough!
Break what needs breaking
'Til You're all we see
And start with me, start with me

Whose arms hold the fatherless?
Whose voice do they hear?
Who sits with the prisoner
And stands for the one who fear?
You're still the God of what is just
And You're still the God of love
So would You love through me
Love through me yeah
Come and love through me
Would You love through me, yeah

My life is an empty cup
Fill it up, fill it up!
I wanna hear every rescued heart cry
You're enough, You're enough!
Break what needs breaking
'Til You're all we see
And start with me, start with me, yeah

Your kingdom come
Your will be done
Lord let it be
Let it start with me, start with me

Yes, Your kingdom come
And Your will be done
Oh Lord let it be
Let it start with me, start with me

Yeah, start with me, start with me

My life is an empty cup
Fill it up, fill it up!
I wanna hear every rescued heart cry
You're enough, You're enough!
Break what needs breaking
'Til You're all we see
And start with me, start with me,
Yeah start with me, start with me
Yeah

Oh Lord won't you please start with me! My life is an empty cup, please fill it up! These words ring so loud in my heart right now. They will be my prayer every day. And again during the day when I forget my purpose in a moment of allowing myself to become frazzled, I'll empty myself out once again for the Lord! I long to be whatever He desires me to be. I want more Jesus.

But I don't just want to be the girl who continually proclaims Jesus name and my love for Him. I want to be the girl who lives it too. I feel I live it in a lot of ways, but every way?... No.

I want to live it with every word that comes out of my mouth. I want to live it with every action I do. I want to live it with every thought in my mind. I want Jesus to fill me.

So you know what I do? I try to live safe. I try not to venture outside of the box. If you don't go outside of the box, living for Jesus appears very easy to the untrained eye. It's time to step out of the box. It's time to get out of the comfort zone I have created for myself. I have no clue what this means, or looks like. I have no idea where to go or who to talk to. Would you pray with me that God reveal this to me? I am a homebody. I like my comfort. I don't like drama. I don't feel I have an abundance of free time. But I want to live for Jesus. I want to make a difference. I want to use everything He gives me, every single day.

From an empty page I've filled with words, to an empty me I need filled with Jesus. I mean it with all my heart when I sing these words. Start with me... Fill my cup.

Quiet

I have sat here all afternoon trying to get quiet, but my mind is just racing. "Lord, please quiet the me in me so that I hear only the You in me".

My mind was just continually going to the future. Things I want to do, especially with our women's group at church. Then God begins to make it very clear I need to slooow doooown. Ask Him. Reminding me He's up to something specific.

I've known this, I've spoken about this here. And you want to know what you can generally find me doing about it?
Either a) Waiting for it to just fall in my lap
           b) Thinking it's going to happen on my terms, how I plan it
or
           c) Ignoring it completely

None of these are going to work. None. It's time to look for answers, put my focus back where it needs to be. Do not worry about the drama from the past week. What comes from it will come from it. God will prepare me and help me deal when and if need be.

I'm seeking God. Seeking answers. Seeking truth. Seeking direction. Seeking peace in His presence... Even while I'm waiting- especially while I'm waiting!

Out of focus

Things seem a little blurry right now. The events over the past week have left me unsettled and my focus seems to have gone right out the door. I have written several blog posts on paper, none of which have even actually made it to the blog. Everything I have written after thinking on it seems too personal. I struggle with finding the line of what to share and what not to share. Partly because I'm not sure of how much of my life I want to share and partly because it often involves other people. My intent in writing would never be to bring harm to anyone, so I always try to weigh my words carefully, especially when speaking about someone else. While I would never use names I still want to be very careful with my tongue. The Bible says the tongue is untamable and cautions us about how we use it:

James 3

New International Version (NIV)

Taming the Tongue

3 Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. ² We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

³ When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. ⁵ Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
⁷ All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹² My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

But where do we draw the line? How should we measure what is acceptable to put out in cyberspace and what is not? When should we put our feelings, opinions, or life events out there and when should we keep them to ourselves?  Or sometimes it's just a matter of allowing that little voice to tell me that no one wants to read about that. Or maybe sometimes God is nudging me to share something I feel is too personal but when in reality someone does need to hear it and I refuse?

So this is why I have been quiet, but you can be sure it won't last. As soon as I get a little clearer on what I want to post about the situation, or maybe the moment passes and I'll just decide to post on something else, you can be sure I'll be back with lots more to say. This may mean an hour from now, or this may mean a few weeks from now, one just can't be sure. But do know if God is working on me about this, together we will get it all worked out.

Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for your love. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for continuing to use me even when I stop to ask  you five million questions. Push me to continue to get out of a zone that I feel is comfortable. Push me to do your work without question. Help me to know your nudging in such a special way that there is no question. Lord we have grown so much together over the past few years, I almost can't bear to think about where we will be in a few more years. I cherish every moment I get to know you more.
In Jesus name
Amen

Decisions

Life is full of decisions. Decisions come in all sizes, ranging from what color nail polish I want to wear, all the way to what I want to be when I grow up. Sometimes even the seemingly smaller mundane decisions can appear to become monumental in size. Suddenly what you wear for that interview or first date feels like it will make you or break you. Some decisions are easy, even if they're big. We know right from wrong and of course we always make the right decision. No, but really some just seem to be no brainers. But what do we do with the decisions, big or small, we just can't seem to make? It should be the same way we approach all decisions, even the no brainers.

Let me give a few scenarios of things going on in my life right now that require decisions in the foreseeable future.

The dogs. They are in desperate need of a bath. I try to bathe them once a month but during the cooler months this has to be done inside. This means I have to lift them into the tub... and clean up all the water. They each weigh over 75 lbs. Will a couple more weeks really hurt? (They are 2 weeks past now)

There are always decisions to made about food. This is an area I struggle with greatly so while for some people food decisions go in the same category as nail polish, for me it goes in a category all it's own. This isn't to say that I don't often go months treating food like a nail polish sized decision. But in doing this it only makes the decision to turn these habits around even more important.

Parenting! Do I even need to say more. These decisions could potentially all be life changing.

Then probably the two biggest decisions I see happening in my life right now and one somewhat affects the other, at least temporarily.

What do I want to be when I grow up? A couple of problems with this question- Shouldn't I have already grown up? I have a business degree, yet, I have always worked with children, ranging from birth through 18 years old. I currently work teaching at a vocational high school. I teach the students how to care for young children. I would love this job if it was full time. Which is why I find myself at the close of this school year once again asking- What do I want to be when I grow up? Repeating this questions brings me to the second problem with this question. It really doesn't matter what I want to be. Maybe we've found the reason that at 34 I still don't know. God has a purpose, a place for me. Why am I not asking Him? Oh, I've asked please give a job, over and over and over. To which a job has always come up. And the job always seems fitting for the season. But I've never honestly asked what do you want me to do? And actually listened to what He has to say. I always feel I just need a job. This whole revelation came during something my pastor said during church last night. I don't remember his exact words, but whatever they were they got me thinking. Why have I never asked what God is calling me to do as a profession? And how am I to go about it?

Next is caregiving for my almost 87 year old grandpa. (His birthday is Wednesday!) Grandpa has stage 4 lung cancer and severe dementia. He requires 24/7 care. We are soon coming up on the beginning of the 4th month of this care. Gradually we have needed more and more hands to keep up with his growing needs. Our goal when grandpa first needed care was to keep him home and comfortable until the end. We thought that once treatment ended the cancer would begin spreading and begin to take over. So far we see no signs of this happening. Grandpa no longer knows that his home is him home. His sense of reason is all but gone leaving everything a possible hazard, think toddler in an adult body, making caregiving quite stressful. Another common problem with dementia, incontinence, is becoming regular. I'm afraid his care is beginning to reach a level beyond my ability or maybe want to. I want him to be grandpa to me, not someone I have to change regularly, remind to bathe, not leave the water running, take his walker with him, turn the razor off, eat, and go to bed as well as pick up off the floor after one of his numerous falls. I want to enjoy time with him, even once he no longer knows me. Is this selfish... or is not changing things selfish? So what comes next? More caregivers in the home, the home he no longer recognizes- or is it time to consider another option? This could go on for many more months (years if the cancer doesn't grow). What is truly the best for grandpa? What would make him the most comfortable as well as provide the best, consistent care for him? Would he, Mr. Independent, really want us all putting our lives on hold, walking on pins and needles around him? So many questions and with possibly no real right answer. Praying God gives us the wisdom to do what's best and the peace and strength to tackle whatever that decision might be!

Lord,
You are always there for us and for this I'm thankful. You are who we should be turning to for all of our decisions. You hold all the answers, unfortunately I often don't take the time to find out what these answers are. I often only turn to you with decisions when things feel out of my control. All of these things I discussed today, and more, should be brought before You until you reveal what You desire for me. Before I make any commitments or decisions, big or little, they should be taken to You. You are my comforter and protector. You hold all the wisdom and strength I need. Thank you!
In Jesus name
Amen

If God is Awesome and you know it praise His name

Acts 2:37-47

"Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, "Brethren, what shall we do?" Peter said to them, "Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call to Himself." And with many other words he solemnly testified and kept on exhorting them, saying, "Be saved from this perverse generation!" So then, those who had received his word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls. They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles. And all those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have need. Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number day by day those who were being saved."

What are we missing? Does this happen at your church? Should it be? (If it's happening please share your experiences!) Can you imagine people living communally as opposed to making sure we have it all first. This seems so simple. If believers are truly seeing that others needs are met first there would be far fewer hungry people, homeless people and orphans.

For me personally, I tend to give out of what's left, or after I've gotten all the use out of something. I don't know that I have ever given the shirt, coat, etc off my back or shoes off my feet.  I put myself in a bubble world that doesn't contain many peeople who have needs such as these. Or at least not that I let myself be aware of. I started to write that I couldn't think of a time in my 34 years I needed to do this but I erased it. I find it very hard to honestly put that out there as a true statement. The truth is my brain just doesn't really think like that, it's not in the habit of looking for opportunities to give in this way. I gladly take donations of things I don't need to organizations that help those in need. And at church I accept donations from others of food, clothing and other supplies to give to those in need. But I can't even say I find opportunities to do that regularly. And thats not even my stuff! So not only do I not give my things regularly, I find it difficult to give other peoples as well... I must work on this, tuning my radar to better detect the very real needs of others. This is how relationships are built aren't they?

And what about the other parts of the verses? The churchy parts, if you will. Coming together and praising the Lord. REALLY praising Him. Praising his name to the extent others want in on it. Devoting ourselves to the apostles teaching. Desiring God's word. They were enjoying one another's presence. They were not gossiping or arguing about carpet color or service times. They just wanted to be together, fellowshiping with other believers.  No matter what. Young, old, black, white, brown hair, gray hair, purple hair, coming together praising God. Miracles were done, you know why? Because they believed they would be. And with no special program or event, more people came, lots more people. They came for Jesus.

As believers are we expressing to people through our lives, through our worship, through our relationships with one another just how amazing Jesus Christ is? On a more personal level do we even take notice daily just how awesome He is and praise His name? Not because He answered a prayer but just because He's God.

I realize I'm full of questions today, feel free to answer any! They are all questions I'm definitely asking myself. So I challenge myself (and you too!) to take time to worship God today and everyday this week.  He's more than worth it! I'm also going to make an effort to look for and personally fill the needs of others. And if I see a need and can't fill, maybe ill share it with someone who can.

Lord,
You are awesome and worthy of all our praise. Forgive me for the blinders I wear that make me unaware of those in need around me. Help me see those needs and prompt to meet those needs. Bring revival in this land Lord. That we would be a people so filled from praising you, that more and more people would come to know you.
In Jesus name
Amen!

Ruined

I truly believe God puts people, books, songs, etc in our lives during specific seasons for specific reasons. We can often return to those songs, books, and memories after years of not thinking about them and still know what God was doing in our lives at that time. Right now the book completely ruining me is "7: an experimental mutiny against excess" by Jen Hatmaker. And when I say ruin, I mean it in the best way possible. I think I've already established here my need to just step aside and be ruined. Right now I feel like God is almost yelling at me.

It's like He's saying "Do I have to spell it out for you"?
To which I reply "Yes? Please spell it out for me- I don't want to get it wrong".

(Do you think God does the head shake? If so,  please insert God shaking his head here.)

Regardless God's getting kind of noisy lately... or maybe I'm just actually paying more attention to Him. But one way or another it is apparent the lines of communication are open and working. I know something is coming. Something exciting. Something possibly scary, but exciting. I don't know what the actual "it" is, which is what makes it scary. Scary in the, I would like to know how this ends before it even begins kind of way. Every book that holds my attention lately, whether it's meant to or not stirs the same feelings in me. Sermons- Did he/they just bring that up too? Movies- Ok, I hear you. Bible study- I promise I'm listening, I see the trend. I just have no clue what to do with it. And I think, I think He says, wait- not quite time yet- keep listening. But don't walk away, not even for a second. Be ready for the moment- it's so close. However I think we all know, His so close, and my so close may not be exactly the same.

Ok, so back to 7. I've mentioned this book briefly before but you must know more. 7 is a 7 month fast from 7 different areas of our lives.

Month 1: Food
Month 2: Clothes
Month 3: Possessions
Month 4: Media
Month 5: Waste
Month 6: Spending
Month 7: Stress

I've just finished reading month 6. Month 3 and month 6 are turning my thinking upside down right now and I haven't even actually done the fast, I've only read the book. Here's what I don't get, these months are about possessions and spending... and I'm poor. How are these the two months the ones that are wrecking me? I think it's because I understand that while in this country I am definitely at the bottom end of the wealthy measuring stick, compared to those in other countries I'm doing well. While in America there are many things I cannot afford, I'm still rich. I have a job, I have a car, I have a family that loves me, we never go hungry, we have clothes, shoes, etc. I've never been big on particular brands or having to have the latest. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy "stuff", but I just don't feel I have to have the latest and greatest, I'm generally satisfied if it works. But I definitely still live like an American, I have stuff for the sake of having stuff.

Then there is church. I've read books such as Radical, which talk about the "American church", but 7, specifically day 25 month 6, is really painting a picture for me. Take a look:

"But the feast has a partner in the rhythm of the gospel: the fast. 

It's practice is unmistakable in Scripture. Hundreds of times we see reduction, pouring out, abstinence, restraint. We find our Bible heroes fasting from food- David, Esther, Nehemiah, Jesus. We see the Philippian church fasting from self-preservation, sending Paul money in spite of their own poverty, a true sacrifice. John the Baptist says if we have two coats, one belongs to the poor. The early church sold their possessions and live communally, caring for one another and the broken people in their cities. We see God explain his idea of a fast: justice, freedom, food for the hungry, clothes for the naked. This balance is a given in scripture.

If we ignored the current framework of the church and instead opened the Bible for a definition, we find Christ followers adopting the fast simultaneously with feast. We don't see the New Testament church hoarding the feast for themselves, gorging, getting fatter and fatter and asking for more; more Bible studies, more sermons, more programs, classes, training, conferences, information, more feasting for us. 

At some point, the church stopped living the Bible and decided just to study it, culling feast parts and whitewashing the fast parts. We are addicted to the buffet, skillfully discarding the costly discipleship required after consuming. The feast is supposed to sustain the fast, but we go back for seconds and thirds and fourths, stuffed to the brim and fat with activity. All this is for me. My goodness, my blessings, my privileges, my happiness, my success. Just one more plate." (Jen Hatmaker 7: An experimental mutiny against excess)

Are we feasting on church just like we feast on everything else? It seems to me we just might be. This makes me uncomfortable. This bothers me so much I have thought about it over and over since I read it. It's not like it's even a new thought, or something I have never heard before, just not in this way. And I'll be honest, I just don't like this thought. I like structure and organization. I like church, I like being taught and learning. ( I always enjoyed school). But when is enough, enough? Obviously we must gather together and the church service has it's place, but, when do we or when did we stop being the church and just start doing church? When did we decide to feast and never fast? I realize now, this is somewhat the base of what God has been speaking into my heart for months. And now that I understand that, I'm pretty sure He expects me to do something with it. He's speaking about something else as well and I can almost bet the two will fit together somehow.
How?
When?
What?
Where?
I'm not sure yet, but I take comfort in knowing He knows and as long as I remain in Him, He will remain in me. He will continue to reveal to me what comes next. Step by step.

Lord,
Thank you for your word. Thank for revealing your plans for our lives through your word. Continue to show me the plans you have for my life Lord. While I wish I knew exactly what was going to happen or maybe even just when, I trust in you. I trust that you have no plans to harm me and everything you plan for my life is for good. Lord, use me. My prayer always has been and continues to be, that I would be your hands and feet. Please show me how to stop feasting and start doing. Please help me to stop making it about me, and making it all about You. Help me to find balance by being part of a healthy church, meaning we don't just feast on your Word, but that we live it out as well.
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

Unconditional

Unconditional as defined by dictionary.com means: not limited by conditions; absolute. As a human, at least for me, uncondtional is a hard concept to accept. Limitless. Nothing can stop it. How many things in life can we honestly say we do unconditionally? Can you think of any? Loving my son and my family are quite possibly the only two things I think even come close. And there are days that would even appear questionable, at least to others. What about our love for Jesus? Is it unconditional, limitless? I know the church answer is yes. But let's face it, life happens and He is the author of our life. Some things are just hard to accept.

What about when He doesn't answer that prayer you've been praying for a year, 5 years, or 10 years, the way you wanted Him to?

What about when He calls a loved one home when we would deem it too early?

Or maybe when a child dear to us is diagnosed and suffering from cancer or one of many other devastating diseases?

How about when you are jobless, or childless, or without a spouse, or maybe homeless for far too long?

In those very moments is our love unconditional? Quite possibly we didn't actually stop loving God altogether but we may have told Him we've reached our limit. We may have told Him we can't/won't take anymore. For most Christians I believe as we continue to seek God, in these and other heart wrenching circumstances, we begin to see how He plans to use us. Only then are able to hopefully let go of the conditions and limits we may have put on our love during those times.

The most amazing truth I know is that God loves me (and you!) unconditionally. Even though, in my mind, I have disappointed Him countless times. How many times have I decided to do things my way and ask Him about it later? Guess what, He still loves me! Still has plans for me, still uses me and continues to mold me more like Him everyday.

I recently watched the movie "Unconditional" and would highly recommend it to anyone-but be warned, you will need kleenex. Maybe this movie spoke to me because I am a mom raising a boy without a father, but I don't think that's why. There are other storylines in this film and all relate to loving unconditionally, and they all brought me to tears. One of the main characters of the film, which is based on the true story of Papa Joe Bradford's life, shows love to children who are being brought up in circumstances they never asked to be brought into. Circumstances such as poverty, hunger, violence, fatherless children, some motherless as well, are adressed in the film and are realities of so many children everyday. Papa Joe takes children from his community in and cares for them as his own. But you learn he didn't get to this place without first going through his own set of difficult circumstances. Struggling with his own need for someone to love him unconditionally. And then there is Sam, who once was able to love unconditionally but through her own life circumstances, far beyond her control, seems to have lost the ability to do so.

One of my favorite lines in the movie is "It's not a dead end if it leads you some place you need to be". How many times have I felt I failed, or felt I took a wrong turn and got nowhere?  Maybe I should look around and make sure I'm not actually exactly where God intended me to be. What dead ends or seemingly hopeless situations could God bring us to, to teach us more about his unconditional love. I believe only once we truly know this, have experienced this limitless love for ourselves, can we give this love to others.

Lord,
Thank you for loving me unconditionally. As I experience this limitless love you so willingly pour on me, help me unconditionally love those around me. Lord remind me when I am frustrated or disappointed that you are always there. Remind me that you work together all things for your good. Remind me as I try to put limits on you that your yoke is truly easy and you will make the burden light (Matt 11:28-30). You have always and will continue to walk through every difficult situation right by my side. Thank you!
Amen