I won't quit. No matter how many Mondays I start again, I won't quit. At least being stubborn works for good somehow. I've come to a point that I question if it's time to walk away from publicly sharing my journey. I've tried this before, came back, but I still feel the pull.
There is so much freedom and fear in that option. I fear getting lazy. However, I felt when I began this journey that God desired me to share the journey, all of the ups and downs. It was awkward and uncomfortable but I know it helped other people continue their journey.
Now, while not gaining back all 120 pounds is a huge win, gaining and losing the same 20 pounds isn't the journey I feel most people want to hear about. It's definitely real but it seems far from encouraging, motivating or what God has asked of me.
I believe this is the part where the words, the transparency gets difficult. If I'm not where God has asked me to be, I lack the desire to share. The question is then, is this where God expected me to be? Because it is possible it is, the struggle makes us that much stronger.
I know when it comes to relationship with Christ I am not where I was when I started this journey. Things got easier, I started to know how to do it myself, I didn't need help to continue. Life was hard when I started, life is still hard but a very different hard than it was in 2013.
Maybe I'm here losing the same 20 pounds over and over until I accept I'm not in control and need help (Go ahead and bring on the 12 steps I teach every single day). Maybe it is time to do this quietly, on my own, well not on my own, the first part of the paragraph still applies.
I've been so back and forth, but I know one thing for sure- I'm ready for a comeback. As we sang "The Stand" in church yesterday morning
"I'll standI knew I was ready.
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the one who gave it all
I'll stand
My soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is yours"
The question is how will I proceed. I'll tell you my plan.
Pray.
My plan until I hear differently is to take a 6 month hiatus from sharing my journey. I, for now, plan to return for 2019. I plan to work very hard for 6 months on me. Still blogging. Still sharing occasionally, maybe even a weekly update, but no daily food pics, or selfies, or workouts. Not centering my life around that journey anymore. Life changes, the journey changes. Ready to spend some time just focusing on me, my relationship with Christ, my health, my family, my friends, work, etc.
At the end of December praying about whether or not it's time to return. God leading all along the way, energizing and refocusing me so I can better help others on their journey!
Trusting Him for the comeback.
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Hello Mandy. I am a Pastor from Mumbai India. I am glad to stop by your profile on the blogger and the blog post. I am also blessed and feel privileged and honoured to get connected with you as well as know you and about your interest in missions. I liked you post" For Every Set Back God Has A Comeback" This is so beautiful and so true. Very encouraging and strengthening. I love getting connected with the people of God around the globe to be encouraged, strengthened and praying for one another. I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 40 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with a great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokenhearted. We also encourage young and the adults from the west to come to Mumbai to work with us during their vacation time. We would love to have you come to Mumbai to work with us during your vacation time. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. Looking forward to hear from you very soon. God's richest blessings on you, your family and friends also wishing you a blessed and a Christ centred rest of the year 2018.My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede
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