Mic check... one, two...

Is this thing still on?

I checked, it was September 6 the last time I posted something on here. That was, oh, about 4 months ago. That was probably around the last time I was also really serious about this whole getting healthy thing. I mean I've had spurts off and on since then but nothing to write home about... or shall I say blog about. But the New Year is coming and that means time to take a look at the progress I made this year and figure out how to continue making progress next year.

So first thing I did was check out the obligatory Christmas Eve pictures.

I went back over the last three Christmas Eve pictures and almost couldn't believe the differences. And in all fairness the 2012 picture was not my heaviest. I gained quite a bit of weight the spring after that picture and started this fitness journey in the summer of 2013.

Pictures help me see the progress so much more than anything else. But Christmas pictures are often one of my only consistent resources, as I'd much rather be taking the pictures than be in the pictures. So next let's check the numbers. I only lost about 35 pounds last year (about 65 total). I can definitely do better, but I won't complain. I'm very thankful I didn't gain 35 pounds. If I could lose another 35 this year I'd be ecstatic. (And then another 35 the next and I'd be pretty close to goal, haha)

I'm finishing out 2014 reading the Daniel Plan, working on some 2015 goals and just reflecting on the past year. I will definitely try to update New Years Day what some of those goals are, and just how I think 2014 went overall. I also really hope to get back to posting here more often, at least checking in weekly.

I'd love to hear from you! Let me know if you have any goals for 2015 or if you met your goals for 2014!

How about a weekly recap?

Before I fill you in on my quick recap I must share these images from the the sunset this evening!

First, these pictures do it NO justice. Second, how can anyone look at all these marvelous colors and doubt in a magnificent, powerful God!

Ok, on to the real purpose of this Saturday night blog post. 

How was my week?

I got 8 walks in for a total of 19.5 miles! That may not seem like a lot to some, but for me that is pretty awesome. I have the added incentive of a step challenge at work. I have no idea what the prizes are and honestly, I don't care. That isn't what motivates me. I signed up so I would have to write down my steps each day and turn them in to someone. Regardless of how well I do compared to others, I don't want to turn in "lazy" numbers. I even got over 15,000 steps one day this week! That's a new fitbit record for me. Next week however will not quite be the same, I have to attend a two day meeting for work out of town, so I know I can count on lots of driving an sitting. But, I'll figure out next week when it gets here, as for this week I think I've done well. I'm not too worried about my pace each walk because the majority of my evening walks involve two large dogs who enjoy a more leisurely stroll. I try to get in a few longer walks a week without them, or go back for a little extra afterwards.

 I have also even been giving "jogging" a shot, I use the term loosely as its pace would easily be a fast walk for most. I nearly did a lap of jogging tonight without stopping. I think if it hadn't been for that amazing sunset I probably would have done it, however I did stop a couple of times to try to get a perfect shot, it was just changing so much with each passing minute I couldn't stop ooooing and awwing. I think this cooler weather will help a lot with this goal. Unfortunately along with this cooler weather comes shorter nights so I'm going to have to get a little more creative with when and how I get my walks in.

What did you do this week?

Makeover!

I have been completely neglecting my poor blog lately. This whole working mom thing is just consuming all of my time. If I'm not working there are games, practices, laundry, working out and other chores that need to be done. Not that I think you don't know that and deal with the same thing. It's just that for the past four years, I really didn't have to deal with that. Working part time allowed me time to get everything done in a timely fashion and well, I kind of liked it like that. But back to my poor blog. I felt kind of bad for not having touched in over a month so I I decided it could use a makeover.

As I've mentioned dozens of times lately, back in June 2013 it became very clear to me that God was insisting I begin taking better care of myself. It's been a very slow process. But I've never given up. (I hit the 60 pound down mark this week!) I've struggled with whether or not to share my successes and my struggles or to muddle through the journey just me and Jesus. And for now my mind says share everything! That was the original point of the blog anyway. To help me from maybe oversharing things people don't care about on other social media sites. It's an outlet people can choose whether or not they want to click on the link and find out more. (So if you're reading this... Thanks for clicking the link!)

But lately I've been struggling a whole lot. Not with the food and fitness part of getting healthy. But the making sure God is in control part of the journey. And this is easily the most important part of the journey. I just keep asking myself; How can I be messing this part up? Yet I don't do much else to address the problem.Without the spiritual part of the journey, without God's guidance, this journey is pointless. So after completing a three week challenge group with some fun people on Facebook, I decided I do so much better at anything when I have an outlet to share and keep me accountable.

So welcome to my new made over blog. I'm hoping this new focus on faith, my faith, and fitness, will help me desire the spiritual part of this journey more and more. I pray that this will also be encouraging to someone else. My posts now will primarily focus on my journey to get healthy and hopefully you'll stick with me for this part of the journey. I'm sure I'll toss in many other tidbits about life along the way so even if fitness bores you, go ahead and check in once in awhile. As we head into fall working out and healthy eating becomes so much more difficult for me. Fruits and veggies aren't in season any more. There are so many yummy comfort foods and baked goods I enjoyed making. The weather gradually becomes iffier. The day gets shorter and eventually it'll be dark when I go to work and when I get home. BUT... I am not giving up. I am not in a hurry. I refuse to give up.

I'm 10 pounds away from halfway and that is providing me with lots of motivation right now. However I realize it may take me until the end of the year to get there. Unfortunately I looked back and it took me over 4 months to lose the last ten. I just kept losing the same 5-10 pounds over and over. Every time I've lost weight before that would have been the end. I would have made peace with staying there. That peace would have eventually led to slowly gaining it all back and more. It has taken much prayer to not let myself accept where I was. I used to hate walking, but I've slowly learned to love it, especially since I went back to work. It is a garuanteed time to get quiet and talk to God. I need that! Even though I'm struggling, He still listens. He still speaks. He is still in control.

Changing Lanes

Tomorrow is the start of something brand new for me.
Tomorrow is the result of countless prayers.
But let me back up a little. Around the end of May 2010 the job I loved, working in Pre-K, was over. The administration had decided to change how things were done and that meant cutting the program in half. Half a program needs half it's employees. I trusted in God that He would provide for us. Summer came and almost went and I still didn't have a new job. But four days before the new school year started a woman I had become close with over the previous few years, whom I am certain God had connected me with, called about a job possibility. I interviewed and was hired that day as a child care instructor at a vocational school. I was ecstatic.

I often struggled with only working part time. As a single mom and sole provider I felt I should be doing more myself and relying less on the help of others. I prayed continuously for full time work or a second job. I sent countless resumes and received equal amounts of rejection letters. God reminded me over and over that my life was not intended to look like anyone else's life because it was mine. This time working part time allowed me to grow so much closer to God. While working part time God allowed me to do some other work He wanted me to do, and many of those jobs required time but not monetary payment.

The summer after I began working part time I felt led to start a women's ministry at the church I was attending. I would have never have felt I had the time to do that if I was working full time. I also would have potentially missed a lot of mom and son moments if I had been working full time. I would have missed a lot of middle of the day coffee conversations and lunch dates with some of my favorite people. I would have missed helping my grandpa through his illness last year. I quite possibly would have missed going to Belize this year, because many of the things mentioned in the previous sentences are how I came to go to Belize to begin with. I could list countless opportunities and relationships with new and old friends that God had planned that I might have missed out on had I been working full time.

Financially working part time is rough. This year, financially, was probably the most difficult I had faced in the four years I worked part time. Yet this year also included some of the biggest monetary sacrifices/ ministry opportunities I had felt led to be a part of. We missed sooo much school because of the weather, and well, no school means no work, and no work means no pay. Many times I even wanted to back out of the mission trip and use that money for other things that seemed more important. But God assured me He had a plan, so I continued to be obedient to what I felt He was leading me to do.

I felt very strongly early in the spring that I was to quit my job at the close of this school year. I had no idea what I would do, but I felt very strongly that it was time to move on. I knew worst case scenario I could substitute teach until God made clear His plan, or maybe that was His plan. But God was already working on those details too. I also felt early in the spring to start a Saturday morning coffee group. Through this group God connected me with another woman who led me to another job interview. And that interview led me to tomorrow. In late May, 4 years to the date of losing my job, I learned I was hired for a full time position. Tomorrow I re-enter the full time work world! I will be working as a Preventionist (on preventing drug and alcohol use), primarily with 5th-8th grade students. I am very excited about this opportunity.

Along with my excitement also comes a little anxiety. Not sure if I've mentioned it in my blog yet or not (ummm, yes, only a million times, I know) but I don't like change. I like the routine I've gotten into. I liked my old job and was just really starting to feel comfortable and get in a routine there. I really liked the people I was working with. I liked having time to go to all of Devin's events. I liked being able have extended quiet time any day I wanted when things were challenging. I liked having time to work out and cook healthy meals. And I think that was all part of the problem. I was in charge, I was comfortable. It was time to shake things up and God has reassured me that this is what's next. So with that said, I'm ready to go back to work full time, at this job, for whatever reason He has for me. While the unknown can be frightening, I trust Him fully because He has never let me down yet!

"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said " I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:5

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

And these are my confessions...

My confession is much different than Usher's confession. (You're welcome if that chorus is now playing in your head too.) My confession is this:

I hate to exercise.

Actually, no, that's a lie, I love to exercise. I hate making time to exercise. Is it ok to say hate in this case? Yes? No? Ok, how about this... I strongly dislike making time to exercise. I really, I mean, REALLY, struggle with this.

So here's the deal. And hear me out because I am afraid at first it will come off the wrong way to those of you who spend time exercising. However, I think, I hope, most people will understand what I mean. The problem is, I feel so selfish carving out time in the day to workout. I feel like there are probably about a million other things I should do with my time. Things that would work my body physically but also produce a result that wasn't all about me. In my mind working out seemingly benefits no one but myself. This make sense to anyone?

And here's the thing, before anyone starts thinking I'm sitting around judging you if you spend time in the gym, or walk, or run, or whatever awesome thing you do. ( I mean that, it's awesome.) I LOVE working out. Lifting weights is probably my favorite, but I'm way to intimidated to go to the gym and do it. And I can't even use that as a real excuse because I have some weights in my basement. I love accomplishing new things and seeing the progress that happens when I workout. I really admire people who are committed and disciplined in caring for their bodies.

So then, why don't I workout?

Which means 30 minutes is 2%?

Sadly, I believe the devil has convinced me of two things. First, that it's selfish if I take the time to workout. He has convinced me that working out is only to benefit my physical appearance and I shouldn't be spending time worrying about my outward appearance. (He sure doesn't mind the time spent mindlessly scrolling social media, or nap taking, or countless other things.) Second, that I'm not in good enough shape yet to do workouts I would truly like to do. He convinces me that I would just embarrass myself if I stepped foot in a gym, or tried some other workout moves.

Well, guess what? He's wrong! "... for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44

So here is my struggle. While it may seem I have things under control (at least for a moment) in the weight loss world. Don't be fooled. The struggle is real. The struggle is daily. Once I think I have "it" figured out another obstacle almost always presents itself. And unless I start taking better physical care of my body, I may become smaller, but not necessarily healthier. I believe getting healthy is important to God. Taking care of my whole body helps me be the best mom, daughter, sister, friend, employee, and servant of God that I can be. Therefore, it's time I tell the devil that I know he is a liar. To let him know my eyes are fixed on Christ here, this isn't about me.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your won; you were bought at a price. There honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17

But I did do a little last week!

Turn Northward

When I woke up this morning it dawned on me it was Friday. It had been 9 days since I had written anything. No journal. No blog. No nothing. And my mind was blank. I enjoyed a long quiet time as the house was actually quiet this morning. I read my Bible, I read a devotion, I wrote in my journal and then I began to read "Made to Crave". But these verses captured me before I got very far and I never finished the chapter:

"Then we turned and journeyed into the wilderness in the direction of the Red Sea, as the Lord told me. And for many days we traveled around Mount Seir. Then the Lord said to me, You have been traveling around this mountain country long enough. Turn northward." Deuteronomy 2:1-3

This week something awesome happened. Well it's awesome to me, if you have never struggled with food or your weight, it will probably seem silly. Right now in this moment, the chain that was food, that has imprisoned me for all of my adult life (and probably longer), seems to be broken. Previously it didn't matter if I was eating healthy or unhealthy, food controlled me. I've spent a lot of time praying over the last 9 days to not let my stomach be my god. And suddenly, it's not.

Unhealthy eating habits controlled me by making me sluggish, cranky, adding extra pounds and robbing me off my self esteem and worth. It also left me with feelings of guilt, or maybe it was conviction, of knowing I was wrong in the way I was treating my body. But healthy eating had me trapped just the same. Labeling foods legal and illegal. Measuring success by the number on the scale, daily. Counting every calorie, feeling guilty if I went over. Not enjoying time with friends and family "because there was no acceptable food". Stopping and starting, on plan, off plan based on how I felt or what stress I had or holiday was coming, or any other excuse I could think of.

"Then we turned and journeyed into the wilderness in the direction of the Red sea, as the Lord told me. And for many days we traveled around Mount Seir. then the Lord said to me, You have been traveling around this mountain country long enough. turn northward." Deuteronomy 2:1-3

I was going round and round and round the mountain. For years. Enough is enough. Turn northward. Listen to God. Stop letting my stomach be my god. 

I still count every calorie.

I still weigh in every day.

I still restrict daily consumption of certain foods.

But my mind sees it differently now. (And I pray it stays this way!) I desire to lose weight and be healthier. These are tools necessary to reach that goal. Nothing more, nothing less. Calories help me make the most nutritious choices. Weighing in daily strangely helps me become less focused on the number. It helps me to see the number is always changing. It's not set in stone, the journey is ongoing.  These are all tools, nothing more, nothing less. They are guidelines not absolutes. Any of them alone cannot tell an entire story. But together can help me make better choices daily. Recognizing that certain foods have no health benefits helps me accept they just aren't needed- on a regular basis. Recognizing celebrations and eating out should just be enjoyed. One meal, one dessert, on occasion, will not cause me to gain weight.

I am excited to stop circling the mountain of "dieting". To stop setting up so many rules to follow and then break. I'm ready to continue northward, on a new path with new adventures and new destinations!

My Monday morning walk! 

"their god is their belly"...

"For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things." Philippians 3:18-19

Whoa. Our whole small group was talking about this verse last week. Ok, so our small group was really  small, but we were all talking about it. We are reading the book "Made to Crave" and this verse was in one of the chapters on growing closer to God. It's something I've thought about for a week and a half after our discussion. 

A good part of our discussion about the verse was did the author of the book take it out of context. Could it really mean that we allow our stomachs to control us? Surely not. Surely the author is just trying to get us thinking about our food choices, I mean that is the point of the book. Right?

Well how about this one about food choices...

"And the Lord God commanded the man, 'You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.' Genesis 2:16-17

So then what happened when Eve decided God really didn't mean exactly what He said?

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'? The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from trees in the garden, but God did say 'You must not eat from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it or you will die'. "You will certainly not die", the serpent said to the woman. "For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil". Genesis 3:1-5

So she ate it.

And we (ok, I) eat whatever our stomachs tell us sounds good in the moment.

So right here, right now, I'm back in. Back in remembering that my body is the temple of God. Remembering I am in no way honoring it when I feed it anything besides food, real food. God designed my body to need certain things like nutrients and vitamins to work properly. If I'm feeding it anything other than that, I can't function in the way He designed me to function. And I need to function to go out and make disciples, to love others, to be a mom, and countless other things. And if this weren't enough, take my other small group of ladies, we're reading "Kisses from Katie". This week we were reading about children, about people, literately starving to death, while I'm all over here needing to lose a hundred pounds. That should break our (my) hearts. Seriously. 

God really did say we would let our stomachs rule us. (Eph 3:18-19)

God really did say we must take up our cross daily and follow Him. (Luke 9:23)

God really did say that a fruit of the Spirit is self control. (Gal 5:22-23)

God really did say that our body is a temple for the Holy Spirit. (1 Cor 6:19-20)

God really did say to love others like we love ourselves. (Matt 33:39)

God also says I'm forgiven, I am loved, I am His child and I with Him I am an overcomer!

(Rom 3:24, John 3:16, 1 John 3:1, Rom 8:37)

I will be far from perfect. I will enjoy celebrations.  Please hold me accountable. Please don't tell me I'm taking it too seriously. Don't tell me I'm making something out of nothing. Because to me He seems pretty serious about this.

Rules

Rules? What rules?

Apparently earlier this year I made some crazy rules for myself about what I would and would not post. Guess what. I don't like those rules anymore. Sooo, I'm going to ignore them from this point forward. Why would I make rules about what I can post on my very own blog? Why would I limit myself? The sole purpose of this blog is to share with anyone who will listen about what is going on in my life. I've found that since limiting what I talk about I don't blog near as much. I sit down and write things, then decide it breaks the rules and delete it. Well, that's just silly. If I feel led to share something I'm going to share it.

I've learned a few things in one of my Bible studies recently. One of them is, I need accountability. Posting about Bible passages or weight loss or countless other things are all a part of accountability. The devil convinced me that no one needed to know about all that. Convinced me that I should keep as much of my personal life to myself. Wrong! Don't worry, I will try hard not to be an "oversharer". Obviously some things are personal and aren't meant for the world to know. But what if something shared encourages someone? What if it is the piece of the pie that helps keep me on track with working out or counting calories?

So here we go!

Captivated

Belize was wonderful! Words cannot describe just how beautiful the country and it's people are. Our hosts, the Armstrongs, treated us like family. The community welcomed us with open arms. Our trip leaders were amazingly patient in dealing with us. ;) The worship and fellowship with the other teams was so incredibly good for the soul. It was more than evident that the Lord was hard at work last week. I have been completely captivated by this entire experience. My mind is flooded day and night with scenes, faces and conversations from my week in Belize.

We were sent to Belize to share the gospel, and we did! We shared with families in their homes. We shared with over 100 children each day at vacation Bible school. We shared with nursing home patients and preschool children. We shared with community workers and people on the street. But the Belizeans were not the only ones with whom the gospel was being shared. Many of their lives were a beautiful picture of the gospel in action.

I knew going into this trip that it would most likely rock my world, at least a little. I already thought I knew some of the ways God was nudging me and how that would play into the trip. I expected overwhelming reminders to be content with what I have, or even less (especially after reading 7!). I expected to show my 14 year old just how "lucky" he is. However, I came away with something far greater! I came away with far more questions than answers. Some of these questions I will surely wrestle with for awhile before I understand just how He desires me to respond.

Shortly before I left for Belize I was certain that I would either love Belize so much I couldn't leave, or I would be so miserable there that I couldn't wait to get home. Boy was I ever wrong with both of those options. I'm not sure I can explain, but I loved Belize SO much, I had to come home to even be able to sort through my thoughts.

I came home from Belize with my eyes opened to just how far away I am from where the Lord desires to move me. Not in a guilt laden, shameful way. Quite the contrary! In a way that reminded me God loves me and has plans for me. In a way that made it abundantly clear that as long as I remain willing, He will continue moving me. Without Belize I don't know if I would have ever been so still and sought Him so fiercely. Without the people I met along the way I don't think God could have ever shown me just what it is I am missing. Without Pastor Armstrong's encouragement and words about joy, I might have missed it all.

I know without a doubt that one of the (many) reasons God sent me to Belize was to introduce me to people who understand joy. To allow me experience joy with them. To break my heart for people who don't know this joy, who don't have this connection with God who is the source of all joy. I feel my heart being pulled in what feels like a thousand directions. I look forward to the days, weeks and months to come as God helps me sort out all of these thoughts and feelings. I look forward to continuing to become more and more connected with God and experiencing His joy. I look forward to sharing His joy with all of those around me.

FYI... If you would like more details about the actual trip and to see and discuss more pictures, let's do coffee!!!

What am I afraid of?

I spent the afternoon pulling weeds. Not because I love to garden, but because I leave for my first international mission trip in just 9 days. I'm not a good traveler. The thought of travelling out of the country for 8 days is a bit overwhelming to me. To say I will be out of my "comfort zone" is a complete understatement. The thought of actually preparing to leave leads me to do such things as weed the garden. I can handle all of the parts of preparing for the trip except for the physical act of packing. Packing makes it real. I can pray all day about the trip, the team, the people we'll meet along the way, and I do once I start thinking about packing. I can pour over scripture. I can get the vaccinations and passports. I can make sure I have the necessary supplies, clothes and shoes. What I can't do is think about actually putting any of it in the bag.

I'm not even really sure what I'm afraid of. Travel makes me anxious from the get go so I'm sure that's part of it. But this is different. I'm not sure if I'm more afraid of loving Belize so much I'll be miserable when I come home, or missing home so much I miss God and allow myself to be miserable the entire time I'm there.

While I was weeding the roses, I thought about all the weeding God has done to get me to this week before I leave for Belize. I know that God has been preparing me the past several years just for this trip. I also know this trip is to directly prepare me for some other amazing work He has planned for my life. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God called us to go on this trip, please read about that in this blog post from a year ago (click here). But the weeding process started long before that.

I think most recently pruning took place when God nudged BOTH Bible studies I am a part of to study 7, by Jen Hatmaker. I believe this was no accident. 7 speaks strongly and often about serving. Serving the poor, the orphaned and the widowed. Serving my neighbors here and there. 7 spoke to me deeply about how I choose to use all that God gives me. Not just spiritual gifts, but food, clothes, money, time and everything else filling up the corners of my house. This was part of preparing me to go without all the things that bring me comfort for a week. Part of being more aware of the reality that I am among the wealthiest when it comes to things. But others are much wealthier than I when it comes to the Lord. God was weeding me last June when He made it abundantly clear that I must start taking care of my body. Without it I am completely unable to spread the Gospel. God was weeding me through CIA's at JFBC, women's ministry at JFBC, a pastor who encouraged not just reading the Bible but studying the Bible. God was weeding me through friends, and as I parented, looked for a job, looked for a church, taught high schoolers, and cared for my grandpa during his illness. The weeding and pruning is continual. There are always new areas needing the gentle but firm hands of the Lord removing the unnecessary things in my life, fertilizing it with scripture and people.

Then there is the beautiful fruit that comes from allowing God to work the soil and pull the weeds. Please pray for myself and our entire team as we all prepare to leave for Belize next Saturday. Please pray for the people we meet along the way that Christ would be so evident in our lives, that we are freely able to serve and minister to them. Pray that we don't miss what Jesus has to teach us on this trip. Pray that we go, hearts prepared, weeds pulled, ready to bloom!

A Change Would Do You Good

It's been sooo long... Sooo much is happening right now!

This seems to be a season of change in our lives.
Change is good.
Right?

As a mom I of course try to raise my son in such a way that he is able to handle change. A way that he is willing to embrace change. I want him to understand that just because something has always been done a certain way or just because we like something one way, change just might make it even better. But I also want him to understand commitment, change shouldn't always be the first option. Just because something is hard doesn't mean we quit and look for a change.

So here we both sit in a season of change. Only time will tell how we will handle all of these new opportunities. It's time to let go of how things have been for awhile.

It seems like everything happening over the next few weeks is the end of something. Last weekend, my son played his very last recreational soccer game. He has played rec soccer since he was 4 years old, he is now 14, that is roughly 19 seasons of soccer. Last week we attended his last sports award banquet as a Bulldog. He went on his 8th grade trip, a time to make some last minute memories as a Bulldog, with kids he has gone to school with since possibly preschool. Last week I quit making excuses and started working out and watching what I eat again. Here come the next 50 pounds gone! Thursday will be my last day at a job I have truly grown to love, with people I have grown to love over the past 4 years. Next week my son will graduate from the only school he has known for 10 years (including preschool). Two weeks after that we will leave the United States for the first time.

It is so important that we not get to caught up on all that seems to be ending. It's important that we look to all that will be beginning!

Recreational soccer is ending, but high school sports are just beginning. I can't wait to watch my son continue to grow and develop in soccer and basketball, two things he absolutely loves. Even though 8th grade is coming to an end, high school is just beginning. I hear so many bad things about high school, and the high school years, but I feel it's like so many other things in life, and it will be what he decides to make of it. I look forward to watching him grow into a young man and make decisions that will impact the path his life will take. While I'm leaving my job, I'll soon be jumping into something new and I'll hopefully grow to love it just as much or more. And traveling to central America? This is just full of possibilities that I can't even begin to guess at.

I am super excited about all of the possibilities that lay ahead of us in the months and years to come. It has been amazing to watch God work over the past few years, months and especially the last few weeks. I know that throughout all of these changes there will be good days and there will be really difficult days. I pray in these times, whether it's weight loss, getting healthy and stronger, a new school, a new job or everything else that will be thrown at us, that we remember who is in control. That we seek His voice to guide us. That we look back on past times where things got hard and we wanted to give up and we see all we have in the present we would be missing out on if we had done just that.

While in our family there are some pretty big changes just around the corner. The advice holds true for every day life as well. Never get so caught up in the past or the difficult days that you miss the present and lose hope. Every morning, no matter what choices we made yesterday, we can choose to start anew. Every day we need to commit to God that we want less of us and more of Him, even when it's difficult or new.

Calling all prayer warriors!

In just a little over two months Devin and I will leave for our first international mission trip! I am so excited about serving the Lord in this way. I have never been out of the United States AND I have never been on a mission trip AND I get to do this with my teenage son (and 28 other people)! I know I've shared, and even asked for prayer for our trip to Belize before, but I come asking again and updating you who are praying with more information. Please pray for us daily, or whenever our trip comes to your mind, as this trip is quickly approaching.

Flights have been booked! There is no backing out now. And the Lord knows the devil is trying to get my overzealous anxiety to get caught up in all the unknowns and make me want to do just that. Please pray for our health and safety. Pray for those opportunities we will have to share the gospel between here and there.

Our team of 15 has grown to 30! Fifteen of us from this area will be partnering with a team from Texas and a team from Indiana. Pray for unity as we prepare seperately to come together as one team in June. Pray for each of us to find the purpose the Lord has for us on this trip. Pray that we would not become so consumed in the details of the trip itself that we miss the reason why we are going there. Pray for the the resources needed for the trip be made available, financial and otherwise.

Pray for the men, women and children of Belize that we will encounter during our time there. Pray that we will be aware of the physical and spiritual needs of the people and God will use us to meet as many needs as we can.

Thank the Lord for Pastor Armstrong, his family and his church family (Evangelical Philidelphia Church, Santa Elena). Pray for these people as they prepare to welcome us into their community. Also pray for our Praying Pelican trip leader as she guides our preparation and trip over the next couple of months.

Pray for courage and strength as we leave the comforts of our homes and embrace a culture very different than our own. May the Lord allow us to be a light to any darkness we encounter.

Our trip dates are June 21-28. I will provide more information as the dates get closer so you can pray for specific details as we travel and minister.

Thank you so much for taking the time to cover this trip with prayer!

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God." Philippians 4:6

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:19-20

Today's blog post is sponsored by the number 50!

Today's blog post is a celebration! A celebration for the number 50 and what it means to me on this very day. Reaching my 50 pound milestone took much longer than I planned when I started (read about it here), but here I am. There were many setbacks and failures along the way. But I never gave up. I made a choice every day whether I was going to be selfish or do what God asked me to do. At times I was selfish for weeks at a time. But each day, so long as I come back and ask, the Lord is helping me overcome this battle with food (although some of my choices along the way are questionable whether they can even be called that, no nutritional value = no purpose- but I digress) and that number on the scale. He is showing me I am an overcomer!!!

"You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." 1John 4:4

"For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world- our faith. Who is the one who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?" 1 John 5:4-5

Enjoy some pics from my journey so far!

Lots of things tried to slow me down along the way...

But so much more kept me going, from prayer, to God's Word, to great friends and a mission trip to Belize...

It's taken lots of hard work...

And eating right too!

And it all leads to slow changes!

See you again after the next 50!

What's your story?

A couple of weeks ago I was driving home from work, listening to the radio when the man began introducing the next song (Hello, my name is by Matthew West). He was talking about how the song speaks about how our past is only part of our story. There are so many people who feel like their past, or maybe their current situation defines them. That they will never move past that one moment, or this one moment. But that's so not true!

I had a conversation with someone again this week that brought me back to this thought. This person has decided all the bad things that have happened to them, all the bad things they have done are undoubtedly the reason they aren't were they had hoped they would be in their life. It's hard to convince them this is only as true as they decide each day to let it be. Setting down the pen and letting God be the author of your story is easily the hardest and absolute best decision you can ever make. Is it possibly we will suffer consequences for our poor decisions? Yes! Are we condemned to a life of misery because of our poor choices or even because of circumstances we might have even been born into? No!

Whatever your "thing" may be, rest assured it is only part of your story. God is writing page after page, chapter after chapter in your life. Where will you let Him lead you next? Read any good books lately? If so you know that things often don't end up like we thought they would. Stories changes, characters change, the plot thickens, that can be your life too. Don't get so caught up in this one moment that you can't see past it. Every minute God grants us is a chance to make a choice. Live for Him, or live for our self.

March last year, these posts were part of what was happening in my life:
http://mandysj2l.blogspot.com/2013_03_01_archive.html
While last year at this time there were many struggles, I wouldn't have traded them for anything, I grew so much closer to God through those 6 months caring for my grandpa. Sometimes I actually miss those days.

That's part of the beauty of blogging! (Or journaling) You can look back and see what was going on in your life at a particular time. What was God speaking to you then. Have you matured? Are you still stuck there? What obstacles were in your way? How did you handle certain situations? Were you in a season of joy or a season of sorrow? How can you use those experiences to help you now?

What if you are still stuck?
Use it to help you!
I tell my son all the time, you can't change what you don't know needs to change.

Be bold.

Parenting
Job
People who don't know Jesus, really know Jesus
Forgiveness
Community
Suffering people (Poor, Orphaned, Sick...)

Just some of the many thing weighing heavily on my heart lately. And in several of these areas God has been speaking some very bold instructions.

Bold is not even close to a word I would use to describe myself. Meek? Maybe. But not bold, brave, fearless or adventurous.

Then this song plays on the way to work this morning:

It was like God telling me it was time to step out in faith about a certain situation. Telling me where my boldness lay, there my faith lay as well. I believe He spoke to me that I am where I am in this situation because I've been too afraid to take the necessary first step.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

Last Sunday Pastor Tony talked about courage, real courage, not the cowardly lion type of courage. But he also talked about forgiveness, something else that has beenn on my heart for quite some time. He challenged us to examine our lives for someone who needs to hear that we have forgiven them. A beautiful example of the living gospel. Possibly life changing. So I challenge you  to do the same. Search your life for the person or maybe even people who need to hear you forgive them. It will change their life and break chains in you life you may not have even realized where keeping you bound.

And while you are at it, think about those things that weigh heavy on your heart. Where might God be asking you to take the first step walking on water? What is He calling you to be bold in?

And seriously, on the way home from work... this...

"So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops." Matthew 10:26-27

Lent: Not just for Catholics?

Lent- An annual fasting and penitence in preparation for Easter, beginning on Ash Wednesday and lasting 40 work days to Easter, observed by Roman Catholics, Anglican and certain other churches. (Dictionary.com)

Well, in case you don't know, I'm not Catholic, I'm a southern Baptist. Therefore I'm not going to claim to know all there is regarding Lent. However I've been doing a little research and I'm thinking it's something many more of us should take part in, at least at some level. Let me tell you why.

(Disclaimer: I also do not claim to be a Bible scholar, this is as much a part of my journey as any, getting to know my Savior. I share what is on my heart, not as a command for you to live your life by... That is your journey.)

With Google, you can easily find all the information you ever wanted plus some about Lent if you would like to learn more about what all it entails in the Catholic religion. A few things I learned however definitely intrigued me and convinced me to take part... in my own way.

Lent is described as a season of self examination, fasting, and penance in preparation for Easter day. I found the 40 days of Lent where chosen based on two Biblical accounts; the 40 years of wilderness wandering by the Isrealites and our Lord's 40 days in the wilderness at which point He was tempted by Satan. I learned that fasting, prayer and almsgiving are considered to be the 3 main objectives, if you will, of Lent. All 3 of which are sound scriptural practices.

As Christians I find we often make a huge deal about Christmas; the sweet baby Jesus, decorating a tree, picking out gifts for loved ones, decorating, baking cookies, parties, candlelight services, retelling the Christmas story, advent calendars and wreaths, the list goes on and on. Don't get me wrong, the miracle of the the birth of our Savior is definitely something to celebrate! And in our minds the birth of a baby is probably much easier to process than Crucifixion as a reason to celebrate. But a few months later we come to Palm Sunday, Good Friday (death) and Easter (resurrection).  We get dressed up, go to church on Easter Sunday, find some Easter eggs, have some Ham and move on... Wait a minute!... Do we not understand the significance of this day?

So if you don't know the Easter story let me (roughly) sum it up for you:

That miracle baby we love to celebrate on December 25 (or the entire season after Thanksgiving, or is it Halloween now) was Jesus Christ. God himself came to Earth in the flesh, He was sent for one thing- to save me and you, sinners, from this dark world, from eternity in hell. How would He do this? He would be convicted unjustly of a crime by his peers, beaten, probably beyond recognition, stripped of His clothes and have a crown of thorns embedded in His head. All this before being nailed to a cross where he would be hung, left to bleed to death, out where all who wanted to watch him die could. His death on the cross would be the promise of eternal life for all of us who choose to declare God our Lord and Savior. Jesus would be buried in a tomb but the tomb would not be where he stayed. Three days after he died such a cruel death, he rose. Jesus defeated death. And that is why Christians celebrate Easter. We celebrate Jesus overcoming death so we can live eternally in Heaven with Him, worshiping God. (Don't take my word for it, please take to read the whole story by clicking here - Matthew 26-28 )

Worth reflecting on, preparing for and celebrating?

If we roughly look to the example of the Catholics we will consider reflecting, preparing and celebrating by means of fasting, praying and almsgiving. 

Fasting is simply a way of saying to the Lord, less of me, more of You. Fasting is mentioned numerous times in the Bible. (Here are a few: Moses- Exodus 34:27-28, Israelites- Judges 20:26, David- 2 Samuel 12:16, Jews in Susa- Esther 4:15-16, Ninevites- Jonah 3:5-8, Jesus- 4:1-2 And there are so many more.) Fasting can help us learn and demonstrate better self control, one of the fruits of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23. Fasting during Lent was often done as a reminder of those forced to fast daily because of poverty. Giving up meat was also used as a reminder of how those living in poverty are forced to eat.What could we, should we, fast from for 40 days to help us focus on the gift of salvation?   Fasting in my opinion can take many forms. And I'm not saying don't eat at all for 40 days. I think fasting for this purpose should possibly include eliminating whatever takes the majority of my time or something I let control me. This time should then be replaced by seeking God and letting Him guide and direct me, giving Him control. We should be spending this time in the Bible and praying.

How wonderful would 40 days of purposeful prayer and repentance be as we prepare our hearts to celebrate, Jesus saving us from our sins.  I can think of no better time to seek God, to tell Him how thankful we are, to declare to Him our love. To seek His plan for our life, for each day. To ask him to point out sin in our life some blinding, some we have been blinded to. Praying for loved ones and all of those around the world who do not understand Easter. Praying that we ourselves would begin to understand better the eternal significance of this season. Praying for our children, our churches, our friends, our neighbors. Praying for opportunity and courage to share the gospel. Simply praying and growing closer to the Lord. And at the end of the 40 days being unable to return to the person we were before our special time with Him.

And almsgiving, giving to the poor and needy. We all need to experience the hope that Easter promises, but those who are poor and in need especially need to be told, not told, shown this hope, the hope of Jesus. If we can be of assistance to those who desperately need that hope we will be the living gospel to them. Isn't that what Easter is all about, sharing the Good News? I'm fairly certain if we spent 40 days almsgiving we would desire to spend the other 325 days of the year the exact same way!

So here's what I'm thinking, Lent is for us all. Easter is a rather big deal. And while we spend a lot of time preparing our hearts for Christmas, I think preparing our hearts for Easter, reminding ourselves of the extreme sacrifice the Lord made for you and me so that we would not spend eternity in hell seems of great importance to me. If you don't know Jesus and would like to, 40 days questioning Him and seeking His truth is an awesome place to start. If you've been introduced to Jesus but walked away from Him, for whatever the reason, what better time to remind yourself of that amazing sacrifice He made in your name. There may be no better time to repent and draw near to Him than now. And if you walk with Jesus daily, take time to ask Him to search you and show you things you've let become routine, people who need you to be the gospel to them, to grow closer than you've ever been to Him. I honestly just can't see where we can go wrong with this. Whether you call it Lent, or just preparation, whether you're Catholic, southern Baptist, somewhere in between, or none of the above, I'm certain this time is for you.

Will you join me in this? Take 40 days (39 now) to fast, pray and give to those poor and in need? This is something special between you and God, no one else needs to know, everything you do is for an audience of One.

Seriously... Just do it.

I've been working on getting healthier, spiritually and physically. I dedicate the majority of my blog posts to the spiritual parts of my journey, but there is a huge physical journey going on as well. I promised back in January not to get on here and boast every week about weight loss, but I would like to share with you that I'm still on that journey and I am making progress.

I technically started trying to get healthy last June (this post), but it wasn't until this January (this post) that I really got serious about it. For me, as I've shared before, my spiritual journey and physical health journey go hand in hand. I can't do one without the other. I can't be the hands and feet of Jesus if they are too out of shape to go anywhere and too exhausted to care. I can't get in shape, overcome temptations and find motivation without the strength of God. Seriously, it's impossible, trust me I've tried... a lot.

My main focus when I started in January was to workout 3 days a week and eat real food. Simple, right? Well, I worked out hard for about a week and a half and just quit. To be honest, I just didn't want to do it. I could say I blame it on the weather, but I have a workout area in the basement so that's really not it. I could say we were super busy and I struggled with finding the time, but I know I could have squeezed it in somewhere. My want to was just drained, so I just didn't do it. Eating started off super strong and is still going well. I'm working on making choices I will be OK with making for the rest of my life, not just to shed pounds. My goal is to have as much of my diet as possible come from real food, finding food I will enjoy that will also fuel my body, no empty calories.

I think the hardest part about incorporating fewer processed foods, or at least foods not as processed, as often as possible is the amount of time needed. It takes time to plan our weekly meals, it takes time to cook every meal. I was used to convenience foods for breakfast and lunch, then cooking dinner for the family. Now I generally cook 3 meals a day. But breakfast and lunch are often just for myself... not as fun, but I can't seem to get the others up when I do for breakfast. I have to get up much earlier every morning to make breakfast happen, and lunch ideas are the most difficult. Even though I am home by lunch time and can cook, it's often the meal I try to make easier, without "cheating".

The absolute best thing that has happened, or maybe I should say is happening, is the change in the way I feel overall. And if I feel this way now, how will I feel in 2 more months? 6 months? A year from now? This bonus is closely followed by my new desire for these healthy food options over the processed junk I was regularly consuming prior. (My family is quite possibly soon going to get tired of hearing about why certain foods should just be left at the store). Now, don't get me wrong, I will never be able to go all whole foods, some things just taste good! But I am enjoying the odd (for me) cravings for vegetables lately. Then there is this energy that magically appeared a little over a week ago. You aren't going to find me out running a marathon- OK, you aren't going to find me out running, period, but I suddenly have the desire to workout again. I feel ready to start the day when the alarm goes off (before 5:30, in hopes I'll get out of bed by 5:30), instead of oversleeping until 6:30 every morning. I find myself almost bored or uneasy when there is nothing going on. I'm still nursing an injury from back in August but it's definitely getting stronger all the time. Also, the new found energy translates into a stronger desire to dive into God's word, rather than nap.

My encouragement to you today is this-

JUST DO IT!!!!

You just don't realize how much you are missing out on. How much you aren't enjoying what you are taking part in, until you begin taking care of yourself. Your whole body is going to thank you, I promise. Even if pounds don't fly off like you would hope (although I'm fairly certain they will) the amount of energy and overall healthy feeling you will gain is more than worth the sacrifices you have to make to get started. And I'm praying that somewhere along the way, for me and for you, this just becomes who we are. Just like, for longer than I care to remember, I've been the unhealthy girl, who couldn't overcome this weight battle. I will soon be made new physically, to match the spiritually. This new me emerging will prayerfully be the me that is here from now on!

When Your Grace Finds Me

Seriously, anyone else besides me feel like they are their own worst enemy? Always looking to do better, to do more. Don't get me wrong, we are suppose to want to be better every day. But there is a difference between striving to be better and beating yourself up because you aren't there yet.

And in walks grace; the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God!

I am realizing here in this "No Fear (New) Year" ( you can read more about what started that here and here) that I live a great majority of my days in fear. Fear of something tragic happening to someone I love. Fear of some major disaster. But more than that, mostly fear of myself. Fear I am not good enough, fear I'm not doing enough, fear I'll say the wrong thing, fear of just plain messing up.

"For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace." Romans 6:14

Living life in fear is not only a complete drag but it's living a life of little faith. Sure I say I trust God to be Lord of my life. I've just apparently decided I get to decide how much of this life I actually participate in. I stop myself short of actually doing, not just hard things, but a lot of things. Things I might actually enjoy if it weren't for fear of messing up or being wrong (or looking goofy, or not looking graceful, or not making sense... or a host of other reasons).

"The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1: 14-16

And then there are days I find myself so stuck on things I fear I should be doing that I completely lose sight of the things I am already doing or really are supposed to be doing. You know you do it too sometimes, you see so and so over there doing something awesome that Jesus has called them to do and you wonder if you are supposed to be doing it as well. Or maybe you just see how much hurt there is around you and long to fix it all. But the reality is we all have our very own purpose and it will look like no one else's purpose, it's all yours.

"Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:16-17

I think if we would stop unnecessarily worrying about doing more and just lovingly do the tasks God calls us to, then a lot more would actually get done. I challenge myself and you to live right in the middle of God's grace, really live. Throw away the fear and judgement we put on ourselves and live fully for Jesus Christ. Long for growth, long for more people to fall in love with Jesus, dream about ways to reach them. But be satisfied with the work the Lord has given you personally. The task you are given is the task that needs done and it is of no less importance than anyone else's task. You may not see the results of the seeds you sow, but you can be certain the harvest will be plentiful! Keep your eyes on Jesus. Let grace find you.

I must:
Remember God loves me even when I don't get things just right.
Remember God sent His son Jesus to pay the price for every sin I have ever committed.
(And yours too should you choose to let Him be your Savior)
Remember it's not a free pass to ignore God's voice and instructions.
Remember when grace finds you it frees you.
Remember fear is no longer welcome here.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God." Romans 5:1-2

Who do you love?

So tomorrow is Valentine's Day. While I know we should be living lives filled with love, it's no secret we occasionally neglect those closest to us, so I think it's great to have a day to remind people just how much they are loved. Of course the day is intended  for couples to celebrate their romantic love, but we single people can participate too! And that is who I would like to personally encourage here. But before you married folk or people currently in blissful relationships quit reading can I remind you of one thing? Not nearly everyone who is single is O.K. with their singleness. Or let us not forget those who are widowed. Just a thought, but, maybe before each of you spend the day publicly displaying your love for your spouse or what gifts they gave you, let's also remember those who have no one to tell them they love them today. I'm not saying it's wrong or right to share about your personal relationship, I'm just suggesting giving a little thought to how a day full of countless people boasting about flowers and gifts through social media might also be a day of reminders to someone out there that seemingly no one cares about them. My challenge to each and every one of us (all 5 of you reading, myself included ;) ) is to maybe at least in all of the sharing tomorrow search out people who could use an extra boost and remind them they are loved too.

I personally have chosen to remain single, for now, and believe according to scripture this is just as wonderful of a choice as marriage. The Bible celebrates love, all kinds of love. Marriage, done as the Bible intends, is a beautiful thing. I want to make it clear that I am in no way against marriage. I just know for me personally it's not for me, at least not right now. I keep coming back to these scriptures for reassurance:

"To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1Corinthians 7:8-9

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." 1Corinthians 7:17

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." 1Corinthians 7:32-35

These verses tell me that God celebrates the single person too! God may actually call some people to be single. So as crazy and difficult as it may seem take this time of singleness as a gift. A gesture from God that He is unwilling to share you right now. God desires so much from you right now that he requests you not be distracted by a spouse. Whether this is for a very short season, or possibly much longer, embrace it, I dare you. God promises to work all things for good. If we are spending our time chasing possible relationships instead of Jesus we are going to miss the eternally important purpose God has for us during this time of singleness. I truly believe if you are single and in the will of God, He is not going to let "the one" pass you by should it be time for your season of singleness come to an end. Please remember that Jesus is the only one who can make you whole. No man, no woman, only Jesus completes us. We are not measured at the end of this life by whether or not we found a spouse but simply by did you do what God asked you to do.

I pray that every single person on this Valentine's Day has someone to verbally tell them they love them. I pray that Christians would use this Valentine's Day as a day to tell others we love them. And not just that we love them but that Jesus Christ, the God who is Love, loves them. That no one would lay their head on their pillow tomorrow night questioning their worth. I pray for married people to keep Christ as the center of their marriage. In Him they will find joy, hope, peace, strength for the difficult days, healing for all their hurts, and guidance for their family. For the single people I pray for healing for broken hearts, strength to stand alone in You, wisdom to know God's will, courage to do God's will, the peace, comfort and joy that can only be found in God!

Spring is coming!

I'll admit it, I have been right there with the majority complaining lately about the weather. I've most likely even been the one to bring it up once or a dozen times a day. (Pretty sure I even wrote a post about it just a week ago.) My body seems to be completely intolerable to cold weather. I often joke about moving to a much warmer climate eventually, or maybe it's not a joke, time will tell. The cold weather just makes me feel miserable. And the truth is we have been spoiled the past few years with our winters. While we had a few wintery events we had many above average days mixed in to seemingly balance it all out. So now when we have a real winter is seems so hard.

So yesterday as I'm driving  home from work and it's 13 degrees without the windchill, I started repeating to myself one more day, more day. Because you can do that mid February,  you can see the forecast and see that the odds of it continuing to be bitterly cold are coming to an end. You can know that soon 30's and 40's will be considred cold, then 50's and before you know it summer's here and spring has passed us by. And lets not get started on the flooding and tornadoes spring often brings. But I digress. I'm driving along repeating one more day, one more day, when I realize how ungrateful this probably sounds to God.

We live in one of the most unique climates in the world. You've probably heard people say if you don't like the weather in Southern Illinois just wait until tomorrow. And it's so true. I'ts always changing. We are fortunate to get to experience the dramatic changing of seasons. Seeing God's power displayed so prominently, and in so mnay different ways. Emerging flowers, budding tress, greening grass all from the rains of spring. Warm sunshine, flowers in full bloom, birds and butterflies of summer. Red, yellow and orange leaves blanketing the ground in the fall. And yes even the cold air that ushers in the snow and ice of winter. All displaying the beauty that is God!

So while I'm not saying you will never again hear me complain about the bitter cold, the week of rain or humidity that steals your breath when you walk outside. I will try to remember who gave us this day. Remember who ordained this day just as it is and be thankful rather than wishing it away. Look for the beauty on display each day.

Ready to run!

For the first time in my entire life I am excited about running! Crazy, I know... Let me explain.

I have spent a good majority of my weekend glued to my computer watching If : Gathering. The premise of If was, If God is real, then what? A call to this generation of women to rise up and do something. If we truly believe God is real, then what is He calling us to do? Many, many of these women I have either never heard of or don't know much about, but I have been blown away by the amount of passion for Jesus, the passion for living for Jesus that was displayed this weekend. Let me share with you just some of the quips I have taken away from the weekend:

"You are not a part of our thing Lord, You are the THING!" - Jen Hatmaker

A very powerful spoken word was delivered by Ann Voskamp and Amena Brown! "There is a whole Esther generation rising up right here and now and it is us."

"Let's redefine the comfort zone because everywhere He calls you to, the Great Comforter is there."  "Many of us settle for deliverance, not freedom." Christine Caine

Referring to church, the body of Christ "If a body becomes a business, doesn't that make it prostitution?" "Comparison is a thug that robs you of joy." "You can't measure souls, you can only love souls."

"Faith becomes real when it becomes relational." Kristin Armstrong

"Run yo race!" "You cannot run forward if you are always looking back." "Hurt people, hurt people. Free people, free people." Bianca Olthoff

"When talents and burdens collide that is where you find your calling." Rebekah Lyons

"Our yes hangs in the balance of a lot of people's future." Shelley Giglio

"So, are you dating Jesus? Ummm, no. I love Him, I really do but we aren't dating." "Take the time to know who you are in Christ first, no man can shape that for you." Melinda Doolittle on being single.

Laura Choy delivered the most heartbreaking story about a homeless woman she befriended.

"You have to play your one note and I'll play mine and together it's gonna play a song that brings freedom for the captives." "If we love mercy for ourselves we have to love it for everyone else." "Serving does not have to equal striving." "Do this in remembrance of me...  in other words, constantly make this real." Jen Hatmaker

And seriously these are just a few of the little tidbits. I could tell you story after story that touched me. There were many powerful testimonies, one from a woman who used to be a prostitute in Las Vegas, who now saved, runs a safe house for prostitutes to help get them off the street. Testimonies from women who have lost children, women who have adopted children, women who rescue girls from sex trafficking, women who help the homeless, women battling anxiety and depression, women who run nonprofits, women just like you and me. Every single one of them had a story, some were dramatic, all were emotional. Some started from the simplest thing like mowing a neighbors yard and showed how that has lead to countless other opportunities to minister to people. I would love to share with you about all of the women and how their story touched me but we would just be here for days.

So running you say, why did you say you were ready to run?

The focus of scripture for the weekend was Hebrews 12:1-3, running the race marked out for us. Remembering that we each have our own path to take, our own race to run. None of them should look the same. Breaking all measuring sticks we use to compare ourselves to other women and what they are doing. Remembering that we are responsible for our own obedience to the Lord. Others may guide us and help us grow, but ultimately it is up to each of us as individuals. Remembering that every person you see is a real person, with a name, with a story, and part of a family. Jesus loves every person, therefore we are called to love every person. Every, single, person, regardless of how much money they make, what job they choose, where they live, or maybe even whether or not they are clean. We are to love one another in unity regardless of religious theologies, or lack thereof. If sisters (and brothers) in Christ can not come together in agreement and love one another how can we show love to others who do not believe? But above all, as Bianca said, "Run yo race!"

And I thought the story for the weekend ended there. But I was wrong!

At church this morning, during the children's sermon of all times, my pastor, who I'm positive was not spending the weekend watching the If : Gathering, tied the whole thing up for me. He brought a piece of bread to show the children. He let them each inspect what the bread looked like, paying special attention to all the little holes in the bread. Then he asked them if they knew how those holes got there. The answer of course is yeast. So then the pastor pulled out yeast to show the kids. He made note of just how small yeast is, but how big it makes the bread. He shared with the kids (and O.K. all of us big people too) that while it's great to have goals and want to do big things. It's all the little things that really add up.

For me, after this weekend of hearing so many "regular" women share there stories about the ginormous things God was doing in their lives it would be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind and think I should only be on the lookout for callings that were equally as big. But if I do that I missed the point of the whole weekend. We were supposed to break our rulers, throw away the scales. Stop comparing. Remembering as Ann Voskamp said, "They don't make a scale that could ever measure value, worth or weight of a soul". No person, no soul is more important to minister to than another. We are to run OUR unique race and no one else's. We are to listen each day for instructions from the Lord. As one speaker illustrated, it's like pulling on a thread. The little tug God lays on your heart today will just be the first pull of the thread. But if you've ever found a loose thread you thought you would pull out and it just kept coming, pull after, pull, after pull. That one little tug leads to more and more of thread being exposed and if you keep pulling and pulling in time you have a whole mess of thread. The first pull of thread God is asking you to tug might need to happen right under your roof, or maybe at your neighbor's house. You see serving the Lord is no different, than that thread, we have no idea where one small action might lead, no idea just how much thread might begin to unravel, no idea just how big the bread might rise.

So run yo race and I'll keep running mine! Believe it or not I think I was already ready and running!

http://new.livestream.com/ifgathering/ifgathering
You can watch all of the sessions or pick and choose speakers to listen to, here for free for just over 24 more hours!
Session 1b starting at minute 5 is the spoken word by Amena Brown and Ann Voskamp.