Adventures with Grandpa

So, I bet you thought I was kidding huh? Well, I wasn't, I'm back and I've got lots on my mind. God is working on something huge in my heart right now and I'll be honest I have no idea where He's headed yet. This both thrills me and scares the living daylights out of me!

The biggest thing however happening in my life right now is helping to care for my 86 year old grandfather. My grandfather is currently on hospice and unable to live alone. He suffers from stage IV lung cancer and fairly advanced dementia.

Dementia is quite possibly one of the saddest diseases to watch a loved one suffer through. I'm sure many of my posts will include anecdotes pertaining to this adventure I'm taking with my grandpa. There are so many stories to tell and I'm always learning.

Today begins the ninth week of this journey, no adventure. But let's back up and recap what got us here. It all started last July when grandpa called late one night in pain and needing to go to the hospital. Doctors found he had over 2 liters of fluid on his lungs and removed it. They also found spots on his lungs. During this first of several stays is when we also first began to realize there were other problems. My grandpa was exhibiting behaviors they called sundowning. We often had to stay all night with my grandpa in the hospital to keep the episodes to a minimum.

We began seeing a pulmonologist and had a couple more hospital stays before getting the diagnosis of stage IV lung cancer in September. We tried chemo. Two rounds of chemo nearly killed my grandpa. From here my grandpa began an oral medication called Tarceva which did help stabilize the cancer. Problems much bigger than cancer however began to surface.

One Saturday evening the phone rang and a man on the other end said he was with my grandpa who was lost and trying to get home. My parents helped get him home and stayed with him a few hours and asked him to hand over his keys. A few hours later, in the middle of the night, the phone rang again. He needs his keys back. He needs to go to McDonalds, so my mom goes over to stay. Early on we allowed him to stay alone during the day some, but stayed all night. Until he set the toaster on fire, then it became clear he needed 24/7 care. We tried doing this just us, but after only two weeks it became clear we would need more help. My grandpa's sundowning at night can be exhausting for those of us trying lead our "normal" life alongside caregiving. And here is where we are now.

So many people, especially people my own age, just don't seem to understand why we're doing this- why I'm doing this. So many people want to know why we don't place him in a nursing home. And until it's your loved one I completely understand why you would question.  Financially this makes more sense.  Stage IV lung cancer means this is most likely not long term. But more importantly my grandpa has been independent all his life. He is a retired navy veteran, a retired police and fire chief and lived on his own since the passing of my grandma over 10 years ago. With the confusion/ dementia we really did not want to take him out of his environment.  He stopped taking Tarceva over a month ago, which is what qualified him for hospice care. A nurse comes to his home to check on him three times a week. While there are many, many ups and downs, I wouldn't want it any other way. And I feel God has called me to be here on my journey to love- James 1:27!