The Missing Piece

As a general rule I'd say I believe in second chances, that there is often more to a story, and that there is bright side to most everything.

It wasn't until today that I realized just how much I'm not practicing these beliefs much lately. I believe there is a strong connection between my current eating habits and lack of exercise to my Debbie Downer attitude and increased anxiety.

I haven't counted a calorie or point, or portioned food with a container in well over a month, consistently much longer than that. I haven't weighed in for a month, maybe two. I haven't been doing any consistent workout for quite some time and I've even missed a couple weeks of walking in there.

This cannot continue.
Bring on the experiment!
A pretty drastic experiment... a 21 day experiment

For the next 21 days I am participating in the Ultimate Reset. I have multiple reasons for choosing this program.

1. I need discipline, desperately. This program requires 21 days of hard core nutritional discipline. For months and months I have blamed my plateaus and gains on weekend treats. Well, It's time to face the truth, and the truth is I've treated most weekdays like I deserve some treats as well. It's time to ditch the excuses.

2. This program focuses solely on nutrition. I can continue to walk and then worry about adding strength training back in when I'm done. Baby steps.

3. I've got some serious stomach issues and have for a very long time, I'm talking years. This program is going to slowly eliminate all meat and dairy, actually I will be building to a completely vegan diet by the 3rd week. Then after the 21 days are complete I will begin to add foods back slowly over the following 3 weeks. This will allow me to finally tell what is causing me some of my problems.

4. I believe all of this added sugar and these processed foods are what's keep me from being my best, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. Far too many down days, far too much anxiety, far too much not feeling like me. I don't like it at all. I am 100% sure 21 days of clean eating will improve this.

One of the biggest things besides noticing my increased anxiety is realizing how my outlook on things is changing. I'm not always looking for the brighter side, at least not until much later. Not near as much finding the good in every day, something I preach so often to others. Part of my reset will also include a gratitude journal. Maybe I'll share some weekly highlights.

I actually started working on this part immediately. And I realized quickly how much changing my thinking changed how I was viewing a couple of situations I was stewing over. I also want to make sure others know what they mean to me. Life gets busy, but it's also short. I think we often assume people know from our interactions what they mean to us. I challenge you to tell someone every day!

5. The pants are fitting entirely too tight. I refuse to buy new pants. A jump start to getting back on track can't hurt.

The next 21 days are going to be hard. Did I mention I am asked to eliminate coffee? I am not responsible for what happens when un-caffeinated. I kid! This is where I hope a lot of gratitude journaling will help.

I am super excited, anxious, and nervous to get started. I've started and quit so much lately. I MUST do this for me. I've been prepping food today and I feel ready to go.

If you don't yet, you - yes YOU- should follow me here: facebook.com/mandyhazelfitness and/or here: www.instagram.com/MandysJourney2

I'll be posting in those two places daily about my journey and trying to post even more in my stories there. I also plan (fingers crossed) to do a weekly recap here.

Here's to finding the missing piece!

Do you trust him?

After many poor choices of my own making I struggle with trust. Maybe most of all I don't trust myself. Not trusting myself affects every aspect of life - work, parenting, friendships, relationships, personal goals, and yes even spiritually.

I think we all have these days, but sometimes it becomes hard to fathom anyone, especially Christ could love me - unconditionally. I find it hard some days to rest in what I know is the Truth.

{For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16}

I also find it extremely hard to accept the words wait. Waiting seems stagnant, maybe even unloving, like putting something on the back burner. More trust and faith has never been needed than when I hear the word wait.

While I'm still struggling with the idea of a season of waiting, I'm learning to find beauty in it. My pastor recently made a comment about how it's a beautiful sight when we are obedient in what we were made to do, in the season we were made to do it in. Think the trees and their changing beauty in the changing seasons.

So here I am waiting, looking for beauty. Trusting God and His timing.

{"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6}

Waiting not only helps with the trusting, it strengthens that relationship overall. It reminds me that I am not in control. God is. And while I've allowed myself to become so narrowly focused on the end result (of seemingly everything) I've missed out on the beauty of each moment, each season.

God already knows how each chapter ends, how each chapter begins. I do not need to worry. I need to trust and focus on Him every single day. Obedience to God in each moment is far more important than trying to figure out the ending.

So every time I get anxious about an unknown, whether it is work, parenting, friendships, relationships, weight loss, absolutely anything, I need to start looking for the beauty. Trusting that God has a plan and purpose for that moment, for that season.