First and foremost thank you. Thank you for giving up so much of your time with your family to encourage, motivate and shape our kids. We appreciate every minute you spend investing in their lives. Thank you to your families for allowing you to spend time with our children, for understanding the important role you have taken on as a mentor and coach.
As I'm sure you knew before you started coaching you will come across so many different types of children. And whether you are coaching little league or high school sports I'm sure you realize your work as a coach means much more than just teaching them basic skills of the sport. These kids come from different backgrounds, emotionally, financially and even family backgrounds. All of these things play a part in the opportunities these children have as well as shape the personalities of these children, and that can affect their playing styles. And you, dear coach, have the unique job of trying to bring out success in each and every one of them. Thank you!
Do you sometimes get kids who are completely uninterested but are there because their parents made them? Of course you do. But you still impact their lives. Time spent with youth is never wasted even if they seem unresponsive. Remember, you are still impacting their life. While you cannot force them to participate or try, you can still encourage and motivate and find ways to show them what they are successful at.
But this letter is not about those kids. This letter about the kids who LOVE the sport you are coaching. The kids who are spending a good deal of their spare time trying to get better at your sport. These kids are looking up to you. They are looking to you for support, encouragement, advise (about the sport and possibly every other thing), and yes, even discipline. These kids are looking to you as an example of what a male/female should strive to be. What an important role you play in their lives.
Guys, you will have boys who play for you that have no father in their home. You may potentially be their only male role model. That's a heavy weight to carry and you didn't ask for it, but it's the truth of the matter. (And, yes ladies you may be the only female role model for the girls on your team as well.) Men, you will be someone that these boys especially long to please. They may never verbalize it, but you mean A LOT to them. They don't want special treatment for that. They want to earn their spot and playing time just like every one else. But they may be harder on themselves for fear of disappointing you. They may be a little more apprehensive and reserved because they aren't sure what to expect from you. They could even be a little apprehensive that you really do care. But they need you, thank you for being there for them.
I understand there are many coaching styles and I do not have to agree with yours. I believe in you and your desire to do great things with our kids, I would not allow my son to play for you if I did not. Let's be honest, I too am sacrificing time with my son, who is my family, to allow him to be a part of the team. But I do this because I understand that value of it and I trust you with him. I put my son in sports at a very young age to have someone be a little hard on him and to push him to do better. I put him in sports so he would have someone besides his mother encouraging him to be the best young man he can be. I put him in sports because there are a lot of life lessons to be learned there. I put him in sports because he was athletic and enjoyed it. And we have been blessed with some amazing coaches who have molded him and built him up over the years, for this I am forever grateful.
I did not put him in sports to get a participation trophy or to be broken down. Over the years I have witnessed many coaches, some my son has played for, others I've witnessed on other teams and some of these coaches are unfortunately tearing kids down instead of building them up. Fortunately as a whole I can say this was very rarely our personal experience. We were blessed with some amazing coaches for the majority of our journey.
Every kid deserves time, attention, and skill building in practice and game time on a court or field because how else will they gain confidence and improve? How else will you build a team if some kids are "worth more" than other kids. Are some kids naturals and born to be an athlete? Absolutely. And I can completely understand why coaches gravitate towards this, I mean it's easy, the kid knows exactly what to do and does it with ease. Is my kid a natural at some things? Yes. But I still want him to be taught to work hard, I still want a coach to challenge him, to ask more of him, and to be more aggressive. And while he is a natural at some athletic things, he struggles too and many times his struggles hold him back. Thank you to every coach that has recognized his struggle and helped him work through.
I think every kid who makes a team brings something to the table, find that something and use it. Be hard on the kids, expect nothing but the best from them, please. Make them feel like their time and effort mean something. Communicate with them if they are not giving you what you expect from them. Be encouragers, especially when we are talking about recreational sports. It's ok to have fun while teaching them. Gradually you begin to teach the kids to competitive and that is great, because let's face it life is competitive. Just don't forget winning is not all there is to learn. As our youth grow, they are not going to win at everything, it's just impossible. As our youth grow, everything is not going to come easy to them. Teach them how to handle things they struggle with. Give them things to work on that require they further their skill, you can do this with a 4 year old or an 18 year old. Teach them how to properly handle disappointments in life because there will certainly be many.
Teach them that it's ok to make mistakes and that one mistake doesn't ruin all trust. Mistakes are how we learn and the only way to learn from our mistakes is to get back in and try again. Thank you for helping give my son confidence to lead, but to also to be a part of a team and follow when need be. Thank you for teaching him what it means to respect the decision of the one in charge, whether he agrees or not and that he is also respected. Thank you for pushing him to reach goals he may have never set for himself. Thank you for encouraging him to be healthy and and enjoy an active lifestyle, I hope will stick with him for the rest of his days. Thank you for teaching him that life doesn't always go the way we hoped, and life isn't always fair. And I mean that. While in a fantasy world every kid would work the same and get equal time in games, this just isn't reality. It's not reality in sports and it's not reality as youth become adults and enter the real world. It's a tough lesson to learn, but I'd rather he learn to deal with it now. Thank you for teaching him that the sport is never about him, it's about all of the players on the team. Success comes when everyone learns to work together, when they recognize each other's strength and weaknesses and find a way to make that work. That is real life. Thank you for never giving up on him. Thank you for teaching him integrity and that playing dirty is never the way to win. Thank you for all the time spent investing in building his character.
And the most amazing thing is you do this year in and year out. You do this for kid after kid. Many of you do not get paid for this amazing role you play in these kids lives, you do it simply because you want to. Maybe, it's because you know you can make a difference. Maybe you do it just because you love the sport. Or maybe you do it because you were the kid once and someone made an impact on your life.
Whatever your reason, I sincerely thank you.
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