What is the reward?

I love it when God shows up at church or in a teaching I'm listening to confirming what he and I have been talking about. That happened again this Sunday at church!

If you read last week's blog you know that I'm no longer tracking nor weighing in. You can go back and read that here for more info: Coffee Talk!

Church started with a song called "My Reward". The chorus says:

I will trust You on the way up
I will trust You on the way back down
I'll be content no matter where I am
'Cause You are my reward
Your ways are so much higher
Your thoughts are so much better than mine
I'll be content no matter where I am
'Cause You are my reward

God just spoke to me last week that the reward of my healthy habits isn't the number on a scale, the size of my jeans or any other physical measurement. The reward is this good body he gave me. It's finding contentment in the here and now. It's not in wasting so much precious time tracking, logging, and let's name it what it is, obsessing over food choices. It's about getting that time back to share more about Him!

I worried about the boundary I need around my food choices, which is why I tracked. He reminded me that if I choose from the healthy foods that fuel me, I'll be treating my body kindly and that's what matters. This drawing close to him on this journey is truly my reward.

I wrote down five words or phrases from church Sunday as the sermon closed out:

My reward
Grace
Humility
Obedience
Contentment

Our pastor began by talking about our mental map. How we thought our life would go. Let me tell you that my life is absolutely NO WHERE NEAR what I thought my life would look like. I sometimes look around and can't believe this is my life. I can't believe God has given me SO MUCH after I regarded him so little for so long. He's a good father like that.

But let's narrow it down and just talk about this health and wellness journey since that's what you're probably here for. I've had a mental map about that as well since I started this journey in 2013. I'll tell you it doesn't look like what I thought it would either. And there have been times I've pouted and thrown in the towel because it wasn't "going my way".

At the end of the sermon our pastor showed a map that had a dot that said you are here and then a giant gap across the screen and then a dot that said eternity with a line that continued to go out from there. It takes us back to those middle words I wrote down, grace, humility and obedience. I want to know the middle. I want to know how the story ends.

God has given me much grace throughout my life. My wellness journey included. I have had to humbly come to him many times and say I've done it again. I've started obsessing, I've overeaten, I've made it all about me, and on and on. Each and every time he pulls me close and helps me figure out the next steps. All he asks in return is my obedience to what we've planned together. To trust the unknown in between. To trust HIM!

So here I am seeking contentment in the boring, mundane, just do the work, make the healthy choices. Eat the foods God has given me. Move my body every day, in a workout and throughout the day. Don't get caught up sitting at my desk for hours upon end. Stay close to him.

I've had to stop demanding of the Lord that if I do the work he will reward me by allowing my body to look a certain way. I've misused my body for many years, this is the body I have. This is the body God gave me. This is the body that has stories to tell. This is the body that regardless of its size can still serve God. This is the body regardless of its size that can be healthy. This is a body that regardless of its size can worship God, wholly, without holding back out of fear, that can lead fitness classes even if it isn't what most fitness teachers look like. This is a body that can love God, love others, and itself, no matter what physical size it is.

God is doing a new thing in this heart of mine and I'm here for it.

Weightloss, the scale and freedom?

As I prayed and fasted at the end of last year I felt confident in the plans I made for this year. I talked with God about both ministry plans and personal plans. Lately I feel, personally, I’m being pulled in a different direction.

At first I almost felt guilty, like I had made the wrong choices. That I had manipulated what God was telling me to do to fit my needs. But when I look back, the choices I made weren’t my original choices that I brought to the Lord, they are the choices I felt he was leading me to.

Let me backup and tell you how I got here.

About two, maybe three weeks ago, I hit a bump in the road. I could not get over the bump. The bump was food, more and more of it and little to no motivation to move. I know it was all connected. Not eating the right things usually makes me blah and want to spend time on the couch instead of getting in the workouts that I know make me feel better.

It took me several days to take my struggle to the Lord. I think I kept thinking I would wake up and feel different the next day, but it never came. I felt like I was, I don’t know, maybe disappointing him by not doing the things I felt he was calling me to. Shamed.

That’s not how he works. We need to, I need to, take my struggles immediately to him.

As soon as I did. The struggle diminished. I didn’t immediately start making better choices, but the guilt and shame disappeared. And in that I started wanting to make better choices.

I’ve spent nearly a week, or more, talking to the Lord about my next step. For some this may seem silly, I mean I’m spending a lot of time with the Lord talking to him about what I should eat, should I count calories, track macros, and on and on.

I said loud and clear at the beginning of the year that I felt led to track my calories. That weight loss was my goal. Honestly, I’m still not sure if that was me or the Lord. Maybe he led me there to get here. More than likely, he let me go there so I could get here. And who knows if things won’t change again in a couple of months. But here is where I’ve landed for now. 

I want freedom. Ultimately, that’s what I’ve always wanted. I know God can give me freedom. I’m unsure what that looks like. I mentioned earlier in the year that freedom can still have boundaries. Boundaries are healthy. I still firmly believe that and that is why I struggle with what I’m about to say. I struggle because I’ve done this before and used it as an excuse to do whatever I wanted… hence my need for boundaries, such as tracking.

But I feel God calling me to ditch the scale and the tracking apps.

This is not a prescription that everyone might be called to. We are all at different points in our journey. I believe that there are times, especially early, when I NEEDED tracking and the scale.

If I’m honest, I still want both right now. I think they keep me more honest.

But, I also think the restricting, while it was well within a healthy range, led to my overeating as well.

I fear failing and ending up heavier than I am right now. I want the scale to decrease.

God is reminding me, and I'm pushing back, that the goal has never been about weight loss. It’s about being healthy. Healthy isn’t a number on a scale, even though I’m convinced my knees and back would disagree. He’s reminding me that there are people that need to see that healthy isn’t one size fits all. Which leaves me frustrated and asking him if that means I get to eat all the healthy things, do the workouts and have this same body?

To which he replies, so what if you do?

And that’s where we are right now.

A struggle between what I want and what the Lord knows I need.

We are still tugging the rope.

I’m praying that I can get on his side of the pull.

I’m going to give it a try, but I want a better attitude about it.

I truly, honestly, never thought my motivation was physical appearance, but he’s revealing to me that it just might be. He’s revealing that I need to let that go. That being healthy should be enough. That eating healthy whole foods is a gift in itself. That having the ability to workout is the reward. Not that I will only do it if there is a physical reward of a lower number on the scale or smaller jean size.

He’s showing me that boundaries can look other ways too.

Boundaries could be paper tracking, just simply writing food down so you can see where hunger is different, where foods might not agree with you, etc.

Boundaries could be eating whole healthy foods that fuel you and saying no to processed foods, at least most of the time.

Boundaries could be simply making sure you move 30 minutes a day, getting steps in.

I may have further to go on this journey than I thought. 

I’m thankful for an open heart to God who can hear these quiet whispers, even when they're not the words I want to hear.

Fill My Cup

"Fill my cup, Lord
Run it over
Give me love, give me joy
Give me peace (ooh, ooh, ooh)
Fill my cup, Lord
Run it over
I am Your child in need (ooh, ooh, ooh)
Lord, I need You (to fill my cup)" - Andrew Ripp

This past Sunday in church our youth pastor stepped in and preached a message in our Delighting in Glory series. He spoke from Psalm 50 and Joshua 6. What a gift his words were!

His message was about serving. He talked about how there are basically two trains of thought people have in regards to why we serve Christ. The first being that Christ needs us to. I immediately started graoning inside. Christ doesn't need us to serve, God is a BIG God who can do all things. And, if I had waited, that's where he went with the statement too. Many people serve out of burden, feeling like they "have to". If no one else does it, I guess I will have to do it.

That's not at all what serving should look like. God's been talknig to me a lot about serving him this year. He's helped me realize what a gift it is to serve! And that's where the pastor went next. He shared about how God allows us to come beside him and serve. It's a GET TO! Serving is an opportunity to get closer to God. He invites us into his work. How beautiful is that, seriously.

I'm nothing without God. So nothing I can do is without God either. 

I had just shared in Saturday morning workout the day before this message about how God can use unlikely people and circumstances to accomplish his will. I encouraged the ladies to think about ways that they may feel unqualified, but also feel a tug from God to serve. To start getting closer to him through the Word so they can hear where he is leading them. 

So much of what I do in person through Faith Fueled Wellness and even behind the scences is far outside my comfort level. If you've only known me through the ministry you probably wouldn't believe this but it's so true. This whole thing is a God thing, he gets all the glory, and I get to know and love him more.

What he's been telling me recently is to give it away. Give away my time, my resources and more. As our pastor shared Sunday morning when we serve from that place that God needs us, we often end up burned out and empty. Our cup runs out because we are dependent on ourselves. When we serve out of invitation from God, out of our need for Him, not the other way around, he fills our cup continutally to do the work.

God's also been speaking to me this year about beng a cup filler. I didn't have words for that until this sermon. But that's what I desire my ministry to be. Filling the cups of others, through Christ, so that they can fill others cups as well. We talk a lot about being a light, it's the same principle. What gets poured into us, we are willing to pour into others. 

Sit with God this week. 

Ask him to fill your cup. 

Ask him where you can fill other's cups so that there is room in yours for him to keep pouring into!

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23:5-6

 

Weigh in, Old is the new new, & influencers

How about a monthly weigh in here?

And not just a weigh in of my weight loss progress, but what I'm doing that is working or not working for me and other random thoughts I have about things.

If you read February's post about weighing in, you know that I'm going back to sharing my weigh in's this year. I'm not going to share them weekly. But I would like to share them monthly to you. It's partly in hopes of encouraging you and it probably mostly for me. In the beginning of this whole journey, way back in 2013, sharing all of the things helped hold me more accountable. I need that right now.

My goal is to lose 3 pounds a month, that's a goal for the year of 38 pounds. In January I lost 3.6 pounds. And drumroll please, in February, I also lost 3.6 pounds!

I have to admit I'm a little surprised with a loss in February. With all that has been going on the last month, I've been a little distracted. As much as I did not enjoy the stomach flu, it has ended up being blessing for me. That little unplanned extended fast really helped me. It helped my body feel like I was getting a fresh start. Fresh foods are what sounds good so far, so I've stuck to a lot of them. I'm sure getting good and cleaned out with the bug really helped the loss this month, but I'll take it. I'm going to use it to try and encourage me to make even better choices the WHOLE month of March, instead of the last little bit like I did in February.

On thing I did recently that has seemed to help me is adjust my nutrition goals. I looked back at several months in 2017 and 2018 when I was REALLY focused and examined what I was doing then. One of the biggest things I noticed was that I was eating smaller more frequent meals instead of larger meals and trying not to snack, like I have been doing most recently. I've implemented that this past week and it seems to be a huge game changer. Maybe that's what my body needs. We are all different. No two journey's are going to look the same.

Maybe at some point in time I need that shift in eating to the larger meals and less snacking. I don't really remember when I shifted from smaller meals to larger less frequent ones. What I imagine happened was that somewhere along the way I heard I could/should eat more at a meal and that for whatever reason I shouldn't snack. So, away I went. 

We do have to be flexible on this journey. We have to be able to consistently evaluate what's working and what's not. Our body is always changing. That's why tracking can be really beneficial. Having data to look back on was really helpful for me. I could see the types of foods I was eating, when I was eating them, what my macros looked like. I could also see what my workouts looked like. So, for now, I decided, the old way is now the new way. A week isn't enough time to tell if this is a difference maker, but unless it goes crazy bad, I'm going to give it the month of March to see how it goes.

That leads me to my final thoughts for this post. I have plenty more thoughts for posts for another day. But I got to thinking about the power of social media influencers. I do not consider myself in this category, however I can also see on a small scale how I could be in this category.  But, I digress.

That being said, I hope you know that social media influencers, people sharing things on social media, are just people sharing what works for them. I think it's amazing that we have so many people interested in trying to share their health and wellness journey to encourage others. 

But, I do caution you to take all the recommendations with a grain of salt. You need to do your own personal research for every one of the recommendations you think you want to follow. Find people who are professionals, find out what their qualifications are to make the claims they are making. Are they just sharing their thoughts, sharing their latest trend on their journey, trying to sell a product or do they have the education to support their claims. There are LOTS of good influencers to follow, just do your homework about the ones you trust.

And for what it's worth, know that a lot of what I share is my personal journey. It's not a prescription for every person who follows. I strongly encourage finding your own way. That being said, I am a American Council on Exercise (ACE) certified Health Coach, an ACE certified Group Fitness Instructor, Certified Revelation Fitness Instructor and Certified Wellness Revelation Facilitator. I am always working on keeping my credientials current. So, while, my journey is personal, I do try to provide current education on relevant topics as well.

Healthy lessons I'm learning through sickness

I don't know about you, but 2025 has gotten of to an intense start.

Our family has faced everything from my husband and I getting the stomach bug and knocking us down for a few days to some more serious, life changing health concerns with other family this year. 

For those who don't know, this past Christmas, I asked many of you to pray for my sister. Your love and prayers carried her and her family through a very difficult diagnosis of bladder cancer at the end of December. She doesn’t fit the typical bladder cancer patient mold, but here we are. This diagnosis came out of nowhere. She is currently undergoing treatment for the next couple of months and will likely have surgery this summer. Treatment of course brings with it a lot of side effects and battles. Please continue to pray as her life has been turned upside down.

During this time, my other sister went for her annual mammogram and they found something of concern. She was called back for another mammogram and an ultrasound. While this is not uncommon, it of course is still concerning. At her ultrasound appointment she was told she would need a biopsy. We are waiting on some follow up appointments, but current reports leave us hopeful the results will be benign. Please pray for these results as well!

Throughout all of this I have prayed and cried many tears with God and I know he hears me, he answers our prayers. Sometimes the prayers are just for him to be near, because really there is nothing I can do to fix anything about sickness. And I am a fixer. This is unfixable by me.

It is not unfixable by God.

While admittedly, none of my sisters battles are my actual battle to face, I feel like God is teaching me a lot about him in these days and I wanted to share a couple of those things today.

Sickness is the result of sin. Not on a personal level, not as punishment, but as the result of a fallen world. Every single one of us are vulnerable to sickness at any given time, without any warning. And we don't have to and should not hold any of our troubles on our own. Whether you are the sick one or even just someone close to the one who is sick, don't hold it alone. Stress can make you just as sick. I pray you have community in your life. People to do life with. Let your people help hold the hurt, pain and sick days. Let their prayers, their kind words, their thoughtful gestures lift you on the difficult days. We were never made to do this life alone.

On an even more personal level, God is speaking to me even louder about my own health. The importance of caring for my body. The importance of good nutrition. Even the importance of not making it all about the healthy choices, but enjoying life and all the get to's on the journey. While none of us are capable of preventing all illness, ever. The healthier your body is when you face an illness or injury will probably matter. I shouldn't wait until a doctor is face to face with me with a diagnosis to start caring for my body in the best way. 

Practically, I'm reminded to stay on top of screenings. Listen to your body. Advocate for yourself.

God uses sickness and difficult times to remind us of his love, his kindness and his goodness. Even during a short illness like the stomach bug, we were so grateful for friends and family who offered help in many ways. God uses people to spread his love. I needed to be reminded to be that for others. In other more serious illnesses, like my sister's, it has been comforting to all of us to hear from so many people who are praying, who are filling in gaps with meals, gift cards, gas cards, friendship, listening ears and more. This is what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Thank you. Your generosity and kindness does not go unnoticed.

I think mostly though, he's reminding me of my need for him.

Dependnce on him is the healthiest thing I can do for myself and for those around me.
I pray that you know him.

If you are struggling with something difficult today, I hope these verses can help bring you some comfort:

Isaiah 40:29: “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” 
Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” 
Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” 
2 Thessalonians 3:16 “Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.”

Let me reintroduce myself

Hi friends, I’m Mandy, the face behind Faith Fueled Wellness, and my journey has been one of transformation—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. For most of my adult life, I struggled with my weight, self-confidence, and a deep sense of guilt and shame. I’ve used alcohol in the past as an attempt to fit in, I've battled poor body image, and at times I've felt distant from God. But in 2013, everything changed.

At nearly 300 pounds, I knew it was time for a shift—not just in my body, but in my heart and mind. My faith was reignited through a small church my son began attending, and as I drew closer to God, I began healing from the inside out. My weight loss journey was never just about the number on the scale; it was about becoming a healthier, stronger version of myself so I could serve God, be a better mother, and step into the purpose He had for me.

Over the years, I lost over 130 pounds, faced setbacks gaining some of thebweight back, navigated major life changes, and ultimately found my calling in helping others. I became an ACE-certified Health Coach and Group Fitness Instructor, as well as a Revelation Wellness fitness instructor and the Wellness Revelation facilitator. While I never imagined myself leading others in this way, God made it clear that this was the path He wanted me to take. And through it all, I’ve learned that true wellness isn’t just about diet and exercise—it’s about surrendering every part of the journey to Christ.

I know how hard this path can be. I understand the struggles, the doubts, and the desire to give up. But I also know the freedom that comes with trusting God in the process. My heart is to encourage and walk alongside other women, reminding them that they are not alone and that their journey is uniquely their own. Whether you’re just starting or have been on this road for years, I want to create a space where we can pursue health—body, mind, and spirit—without shame or judgment.

Wherever you are in your journey, I get it. And I’m here to walk with you. If you’re new around here there are a couple of ways we can connect. I come here, to this page, a few times a week and share some things on my heart. I also share about our Saturday morning workouts here. If you’re local, you are welcome to join my women only, faith based workouts. I also have an accountability group where I share more of my journey. I share devotionals, education, workouts, encouragement, and more! Send me a message if you’d like to join!

Defeating the lies

 A common saying around Revelation Wellness is "God want to love the hell out of you". What does that even really mean? Just that we want people to get to Heaven? Well, of course the answer is yes to that, but it's way more than that.

Part of the goal of the ministry of Revelation Wellness, who I am certified through, is to love the lies right out of you. The lies straight from the devil. The fear, the guilt, the shame. Another popular saying is "Shame off of you"! Maybe it's the need for perfection. The belief that you have to get it just right, hit every target, or you aren't going to do it at all. Or maybe you fall in the complete opposicit category, procrastination. Thinking there is always tomorrow, Monday, a new month or maybe after the next holiday.

The truth is, whether you're putting off a decision or feel like you've messed things up. You get to choose again at the very next choice. obedience is doing what you need to when you need to do it. Delayed obedience is really disobedience. 

How do we defeat the lies? They can be loud. They can be deep rooted. Some of them may have been lingering around for a long time.

First things first, you absolutely have to be in God's Word, the truth, the only truth, that's how you defeat the lie. (Add scripture)

Second you have to recognize the lie. Once you recognize it, you have to challenge it. Find scripture you know that disproves the lie. Put it on repeat.

Something else that might be helpful is journaling through the following questions:

1. A defining moment in your life that led to that thought, that lie.
2. Words that remind you of the moment.
3. Specific people involved in the moment.
4. Any additional events that led to or have furthered the hurt and continued belief in the lie.
5. Pray for God to reveal the truth to you in regards to this lie. The truth about you.
6. Jot down any verse you can pull to your memory quickly when the lie tried to gain traction.

You can't control what thoughts pop in your mind. You can help them by being mindful fo the things you put in your mind, but you can't control what pops into your mind. You can only control your response to the thought. Respond to yourself in love. 

Take a verse below anytime you need a reminder. Draw close to God, remain in Him.

Isaiah 40:31

Romans 8:37

Jeremiah 29:11

Psalm 23:4

John 10:10

Psalm 139:14

John 16:33

1 Corinthians 10:13

Share some of your own verses us with us too.