Be still

So I have this verse sitting right by my back door-

"Be still and know" Psalm 46:10

I've always thought of my quiet time as taking time each day to get still. Listening to God. I've thought this was all it meant. Until I realized it might not be.

I live in a perpetual state of hurrying and to do lists, calendars and getting on to the the next thing. I schedule when to "get quiet" and when to relax a little. Now, I'm definitely not saying being organized is bad. I think being on time for things and having a plan for the day is a REALLY good thing. However, not being flexible enough to be able to slow down throughout the day when needed is not a good thing. Not being aware of the needs of others throughout the day, even if they interfere with my own plans... That might be a problem.

So, what's the opposite of still? Moving, active, even rushing about.
That means I need to ask myself:

Why am I always in a hurry? 

Why do I feel the need to always be on plan, on schedule?

I've found the answer is likely, that hurrying, rushing, and sticking to my plan, helps me to feel like I'm in control. 

Guess what? God is not in a hurry. And, God is in control. Not me.

Also, if we read the entire verse, it doesn't just say "Be still and know". It says, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

I don't think this means to remind myself once a day in my quiet time that He is God. No, I think it means in all things, in my daily routine, in the mundane and the really hard parts, I need to be focused on knowing that he is God.  I need to know, internally, that I should not fear, or try to be in control, because He is.

He has things planned for me along the way, throughout my day, that I could NEVER plan for. He has people for me to minister to, to friend, to simply smile at. But sometimes I'm so focused on what's next that I'm sure I miss a lot of these opportunities.

Yes, intentional time spent intimately with God is important. But, I also need to find a way to still the thoughts in my head throughout the day so that I am focused more on what's God speaking to me, than what's next on the list. I need to not be so caught up in my own thoughts that they drown out his voice.

I'm going to work on practicing this breath prayer this week:

Winter.

Winter.

I am not a fan.

At all.

I saw a post the other day that said something to the effect of not being able to wait until it's at least 70 out and doesn't get light until 9pm. I LOVED that post. Really, really loved it. 

I find myself groaning and moaning and complaining about winter all of the time. I'm such a wimp when it comes to cold weather. And, my hypothyroidism doesn't help the situation. I have a countdown to spring going. I love the newness of spring and all the beauty it brings.

But I got to thinking, what am I missing that the winter can teach me?

Winter is a time of rest for much of creation. This is probably the biggest reason winter is important and many of the other reasons all tie back to this one reason.

Many plants and animals are not to be found in the winter months. This hibernation helps them to come back healthier and stronger in the coming seasons. I too need to learn to rest. To have a Sabbath day of rest. A weekly season where I rest to come back into the next week healthier and stronger and closer to the Lord than I was the week before. 

Winter appears slower (with the exception of the holidays). The colder temperatures keeps many people from the go, go, go pace of life we usually find ourselves in. There are seemingly fewer things to do. Definitely not as many outdoor events. Again this slower pace of life during winter can lead to potentially having more time to spend growing closer to the Lord and hearing his guidance for our lives in the upcoming seasons. I probably shouldn't hibernate away for the entire season, which is what I would prefer to do. But it is ok to take a season of rest, of intentionally slowing down.

God created the Earth, he created the seasons. He knew that winter was necessary for earth. Even the harshness of winter, the cold, the snow and all that comes with winter can give way to the goodness and newness of spring in a matter of weeks. Even in our own harsher seasons of life, goodness may be waiting just around the corner. God is in control of all of things, even when these are things we feel like hold no purpose for us. Such as winter feels to me.

I don't think I will ever love winter. I don't think I will ever look forward to winter. And I think that's ok. We don't generally love the hard places. I hope to see it more as a place that helps me truly appreciate the places I do love. I hope to start seeing it as a place of renewal because I trust that God uses all things for good, even winter.

Forgetful People

I'm writing this post on a Sunday. It's a long weekend, and bitterly cold outside. I've decided to spend the day with Jesus today. I've made a promise to myself to not work on anything for my online group, my workouts, my book study, etc. It's me, coffee 😉, the Bible, a book I'm reading, worship music, and well, now this blog post.

Writing for me always, or should always, come from spending time with Jesus, so even though it's for others, and "work", I'm letting it happen today too. In my devotional today, Made to Crave in the YouVersion Bible App, and in the book I picked up to continue reading, "Safe All Along" by Katie Davis Majors, they both were talking about the Israelites wandering in the wilderness. I don't believe in coincidences, so I felt God leading me to explore this more personally.

Exploring my own wilderness brings up some not fond memories.  I know I've spent my own time wandering in the wilderness and maybe you have too. I can think of one particularly long period of time spent there in my late teens and throughout my twenties. I had grown up in church. I had done the youth group thing. I had heard the stories about how great God was and even though I had repented of my sin and become saved as a young person, I hadn't yet formed that deep personal connection with Christ, enter the wilderness.

I like the Israelites had heard the stories of the great things God had done, but that was for other people. My faith was not strong as a teen. Like the Israelites and how they should have been on a relatively short journey to the promised land, I too should have stayed on the narrow path and sought more of Jesus instead of deciding to do things my way, make my own idols, and set my own rules.

But also, like the Israelites, the hand of God was on me the entire time. I can look back and see and KNOW many times where God quite literately saved my life. I made some really, REALLY horrible choices in my time in the wilderness. I spent some time with people who made some REALLY horrible choices during my time in the wilderness. Some of the things that God saved me from I still, 20 years later, can't put on paper to tell you. You have to trust me that things were bad. But, I can look back and see where God's hand was. I can see where he provided for me. I can see where he led me along the way and finally brought me to safety, to him, to home. 

In "Safe All Along" Katie talks about coming out of the wilderness and laying down the stones of remembrance. I use, and have used these memories as markers along my journey, reminders of ways the Lord has cared for me and saved me. I need these stones of remembrance so that I don't become that forgetful, untrusting person again. So I don't doubt what the Lord has done and can do for me. So I don't try and make my own rules again. 

Once when I recently started on that path again, these stones to reminded me of his goodness, I was much quicker to trust in him instead of my own plans. Oh, how quickly we can become forgetful people. We can't rely on the faith of others and their stories, we must put our full trust in Christ ourselves and get to know him personally. When we start to go through difficult times we have to decide every day that he will provide exactly the amount of strength we need for that day. And he will do it again the next day. Just like he provided manna, and water, and clothes and shoes and everything else for the Israelites every day for 40 years.

I can't begin to imagine what my life would have been like had I not taken the wilderness journey. While there are times I wish I would have taken that "easier" path because it likely would have meant less pain both physically and mentally, I can't imagine not having the life I do have. The son and husband I have. The life experience that has shaped me to be able to be a light for others struggling in their own darkness. To always (almost always) lead with hope because I've personally seen God show up in big ways.

It's hard not to be forgetful when things are going well. When we maybe aren't needing God to show up in miraculous ways. Let's take a few minutes and set up our own stones of remembrance to visit when we feel the forgetfulness setting in.

Diet vs Fasting

A few different groups I am a part of have been talking about and encouraging fasting lately. I'm sure with the new year that many of you are either taking part in your own fast or hearing about various fasts to join. I'm worried that many people approach a fast the wrong way. I can sure say that I have been guilty of this myself. I wanted to take a little time and share what I feel is the biggest disconnect people have when they decide to take part in a fast.

Let's start by defining both words.

Diet: 

(Noun) the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats

(Verb) restrict oneself to small amounts or special kinds of food in order to lose weight

Fast: 

(Verb) abstain from all or some kinds of food or drink, especially as a religious observance

While I wish most people saw the word diet as the noun definition above, I'm afraid most people really see it as the verb. And for this discussion, the verb definitions of both words are what we will use.

I believe people more commonly see fasting as a way to jumpstart their diet goals, with the Lord by their side, rather than as a means to grow closer to the Lord. Which then could have some physical benefits, but not as the primary goal.

Our preacher recently made a comment about how often times going through a difficult time is God’s way of pulling us closer to him. A fast is a way that we put ourselves into a difficult time for the purpose of desiring to get closer to God.

A fast, for spiritual reasons, should never be about weight loss. It also shouldn’t be a way to see how you get something from God (if I’m good with my fast, God will do ___ for me.) Fasting shouldn’t be something you could do ALL of the time. It shouldn’t be a hard set of rules that you try to see if, with enough willpower, you can keep for a specified period of time.

Fasting should be about spiritual gain. It should be about personal sacrifice and a desire for closeness to God. Even though it is difficult, it should bring you joy that you are getting to spend extra time with God, by reading more of his word, and through prayer. Fasting should be hard, you should need to lean in harder on God to keep your fast.

Fasting and prayer should go together. 

See these scriptures for some more insight:

Isaiah 58

Matthew 6:16-18

Matthew 4

Remember, fasting is not and never should be a way to jumpstart a diet and lose those first few pounds. This can actually lead to some very unhealthy, disordered eating habits. Also, if you do decide to fast, it is between you and God. It’s a special time for the two of you.

With all of this in mind, and with maybe a better understanding of what fasting is, maybe it’s time to pray about whether you need to spend some time fasting. Pray about whether a fast might be just what you need to help strengthen your relationship with Christ. Could you sacrifice food, whether a meal or something like sugar, social media, tv, caffeine, or there are 100 other things to fast from and use that time you would have spent doing those things to spend more time with Christ? Once a week, a whole week, a month... whatever time frame you feel Christ leading you to fast. But PRAY first!

Word of the Year

 JOY

I felt a clear nudge recently that my word for the year was going to be joy. I hadn't even begun to think about a word. This process actually usually takes much more intentional thought. But there it was. Joy is going to be your word.

You would think I would be excited by the word joy as my word for the year. I mean the dictionary defines joy as; a feeling of great pleasure or happiness that comes from success, good fortune, or a sense of well-being. That must mean the Lord is telling me great things are coming this year.

But I feel a different sense. 

A description of the word joy from blue letter bible says this: Christian joy is no mere gaiety that knows no gloom, but is the result of the triumph of faith over adverse and trying circumstances, which, instead of hindering, actually enhance it.

What if this is more where I will be headed this year?

I've already been praying heavily as I start this new ministry, because I know it will bring it's own set of challenges and possibly spiritual attacks. But as a 40 something year old woman, I feel my joy slipping away. Men, this might be the point you lose interest, but I suggest if you know any women in your life you might want to keep reading too.

Hormones. They are such an important part of our lives. They impact so much more of our body than we are likely aware of until things go wrong with them. I've always struggled when it comes to hormones, becoming an almost totally different person (at least I felt inside) when I had PMS. 

Then came my middle 40's. Sometimes PMS like symptoms seem to last for weeks on end. And while I get super frustrated with myself that I can't control my emotions, I'm sure it's even more frustrating for those around me who don't know or understand that I'm really not as grumpy as I sound.

I'd begun praying about my emotions several weeks ago. The ones I'm feeling more often, the ones that I'm not used to. The frustration and maybe even anger over things that I previously could find the upside to. The sadness over all the things that didn't come on as strong as it does now. 

This joy the Lord has nudged me to focus on this year isn't necessarily happiness. It isn't all smiles and good vibes. It's a closeness to Lord, that comforts me even when my emotions make me uncomfortable, maybe even somewhat unapproachable by others. It's finding peace in Jesus when nothing inside of me makes sense.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:6-7

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Philippians 4:4 

That being said, I also believe that God has led me to some new GOOD things in 2024 and with these bring so much joy in being in my obidience to him! Maybe, just maybe, some of the trials of starting the ministry are already behind me. Maybe the last year of preparing my heart and body to lead is bringing me to a joy I couldn't have imagined.

Either way, I'm here for it!

No one knows what tomorrow brings or what trials lie ahead of us. I pray that this year, through whatever comes my way, the good, the bad and everything in between. I choose joy.