Seriously... Just do it.

I've been working on getting healthier, spiritually and physically. I dedicate the majority of my blog posts to the spiritual parts of my journey, but there is a huge physical journey going on as well. I promised back in January not to get on here and boast every week about weight loss, but I would like to share with you that I'm still on that journey and I am making progress.

I technically started trying to get healthy last June (this post), but it wasn't until this January (this post) that I really got serious about it. For me, as I've shared before, my spiritual journey and physical health journey go hand in hand. I can't do one without the other. I can't be the hands and feet of Jesus if they are too out of shape to go anywhere and too exhausted to care. I can't get in shape, overcome temptations and find motivation without the strength of God. Seriously, it's impossible, trust me I've tried... a lot.

My main focus when I started in January was to workout 3 days a week and eat real food. Simple, right? Well, I worked out hard for about a week and a half and just quit. To be honest, I just didn't want to do it. I could say I blame it on the weather, but I have a workout area in the basement so that's really not it. I could say we were super busy and I struggled with finding the time, but I know I could have squeezed it in somewhere. My want to was just drained, so I just didn't do it. Eating started off super strong and is still going well. I'm working on making choices I will be OK with making for the rest of my life, not just to shed pounds. My goal is to have as much of my diet as possible come from real food, finding food I will enjoy that will also fuel my body, no empty calories.

I think the hardest part about incorporating fewer processed foods, or at least foods not as processed, as often as possible is the amount of time needed. It takes time to plan our weekly meals, it takes time to cook every meal. I was used to convenience foods for breakfast and lunch, then cooking dinner for the family. Now I generally cook 3 meals a day. But breakfast and lunch are often just for myself... not as fun, but I can't seem to get the others up when I do for breakfast. I have to get up much earlier every morning to make breakfast happen, and lunch ideas are the most difficult. Even though I am home by lunch time and can cook, it's often the meal I try to make easier, without "cheating".

The absolute best thing that has happened, or maybe I should say is happening, is the change in the way I feel overall. And if I feel this way now, how will I feel in 2 more months? 6 months? A year from now? This bonus is closely followed by my new desire for these healthy food options over the processed junk I was regularly consuming prior. (My family is quite possibly soon going to get tired of hearing about why certain foods should just be left at the store). Now, don't get me wrong, I will never be able to go all whole foods, some things just taste good! But I am enjoying the odd (for me) cravings for vegetables lately. Then there is this energy that magically appeared a little over a week ago. You aren't going to find me out running a marathon- OK, you aren't going to find me out running, period, but I suddenly have the desire to workout again. I feel ready to start the day when the alarm goes off (before 5:30, in hopes I'll get out of bed by 5:30), instead of oversleeping until 6:30 every morning. I find myself almost bored or uneasy when there is nothing going on. I'm still nursing an injury from back in August but it's definitely getting stronger all the time. Also, the new found energy translates into a stronger desire to dive into God's word, rather than nap.

My encouragement to you today is this-

JUST DO IT!!!!

You just don't realize how much you are missing out on. How much you aren't enjoying what you are taking part in, until you begin taking care of yourself. Your whole body is going to thank you, I promise. Even if pounds don't fly off like you would hope (although I'm fairly certain they will) the amount of energy and overall healthy feeling you will gain is more than worth the sacrifices you have to make to get started. And I'm praying that somewhere along the way, for me and for you, this just becomes who we are. Just like, for longer than I care to remember, I've been the unhealthy girl, who couldn't overcome this weight battle. I will soon be made new physically, to match the spiritually. This new me emerging will prayerfully be the me that is here from now on!

When Your Grace Finds Me

Seriously, anyone else besides me feel like they are their own worst enemy? Always looking to do better, to do more. Don't get me wrong, we are suppose to want to be better every day. But there is a difference between striving to be better and beating yourself up because you aren't there yet.

And in walks grace; the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God!

I am realizing here in this "No Fear (New) Year" ( you can read more about what started that here and here) that I live a great majority of my days in fear. Fear of something tragic happening to someone I love. Fear of some major disaster. But more than that, mostly fear of myself. Fear I am not good enough, fear I'm not doing enough, fear I'll say the wrong thing, fear of just plain messing up.

"For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace." Romans 6:14

Living life in fear is not only a complete drag but it's living a life of little faith. Sure I say I trust God to be Lord of my life. I've just apparently decided I get to decide how much of this life I actually participate in. I stop myself short of actually doing, not just hard things, but a lot of things. Things I might actually enjoy if it weren't for fear of messing up or being wrong (or looking goofy, or not looking graceful, or not making sense... or a host of other reasons).

"The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1: 14-16

And then there are days I find myself so stuck on things I fear I should be doing that I completely lose sight of the things I am already doing or really are supposed to be doing. You know you do it too sometimes, you see so and so over there doing something awesome that Jesus has called them to do and you wonder if you are supposed to be doing it as well. Or maybe you just see how much hurt there is around you and long to fix it all. But the reality is we all have our very own purpose and it will look like no one else's purpose, it's all yours.

"Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." John 1:16-17

I think if we would stop unnecessarily worrying about doing more and just lovingly do the tasks God calls us to, then a lot more would actually get done. I challenge myself and you to live right in the middle of God's grace, really live. Throw away the fear and judgement we put on ourselves and live fully for Jesus Christ. Long for growth, long for more people to fall in love with Jesus, dream about ways to reach them. But be satisfied with the work the Lord has given you personally. The task you are given is the task that needs done and it is of no less importance than anyone else's task. You may not see the results of the seeds you sow, but you can be certain the harvest will be plentiful! Keep your eyes on Jesus. Let grace find you.

I must:
Remember God loves me even when I don't get things just right.
Remember God sent His son Jesus to pay the price for every sin I have ever committed.
(And yours too should you choose to let Him be your Savior)
Remember it's not a free pass to ignore God's voice and instructions.
Remember when grace finds you it frees you.
Remember fear is no longer welcome here.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God." Romans 5:1-2

Who do you love?

So tomorrow is Valentine's Day. While I know we should be living lives filled with love, it's no secret we occasionally neglect those closest to us, so I think it's great to have a day to remind people just how much they are loved. Of course the day is intended  for couples to celebrate their romantic love, but we single people can participate too! And that is who I would like to personally encourage here. But before you married folk or people currently in blissful relationships quit reading can I remind you of one thing? Not nearly everyone who is single is O.K. with their singleness. Or let us not forget those who are widowed. Just a thought, but, maybe before each of you spend the day publicly displaying your love for your spouse or what gifts they gave you, let's also remember those who have no one to tell them they love them today. I'm not saying it's wrong or right to share about your personal relationship, I'm just suggesting giving a little thought to how a day full of countless people boasting about flowers and gifts through social media might also be a day of reminders to someone out there that seemingly no one cares about them. My challenge to each and every one of us (all 5 of you reading, myself included ;) ) is to maybe at least in all of the sharing tomorrow search out people who could use an extra boost and remind them they are loved too.

I personally have chosen to remain single, for now, and believe according to scripture this is just as wonderful of a choice as marriage. The Bible celebrates love, all kinds of love. Marriage, done as the Bible intends, is a beautiful thing. I want to make it clear that I am in no way against marriage. I just know for me personally it's not for me, at least not right now. I keep coming back to these scriptures for reassurance:

"To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." 1Corinthians 7:8-9

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." 1Corinthians 7:17

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." 1Corinthians 7:32-35

These verses tell me that God celebrates the single person too! God may actually call some people to be single. So as crazy and difficult as it may seem take this time of singleness as a gift. A gesture from God that He is unwilling to share you right now. God desires so much from you right now that he requests you not be distracted by a spouse. Whether this is for a very short season, or possibly much longer, embrace it, I dare you. God promises to work all things for good. If we are spending our time chasing possible relationships instead of Jesus we are going to miss the eternally important purpose God has for us during this time of singleness. I truly believe if you are single and in the will of God, He is not going to let "the one" pass you by should it be time for your season of singleness come to an end. Please remember that Jesus is the only one who can make you whole. No man, no woman, only Jesus completes us. We are not measured at the end of this life by whether or not we found a spouse but simply by did you do what God asked you to do.

I pray that every single person on this Valentine's Day has someone to verbally tell them they love them. I pray that Christians would use this Valentine's Day as a day to tell others we love them. And not just that we love them but that Jesus Christ, the God who is Love, loves them. That no one would lay their head on their pillow tomorrow night questioning their worth. I pray for married people to keep Christ as the center of their marriage. In Him they will find joy, hope, peace, strength for the difficult days, healing for all their hurts, and guidance for their family. For the single people I pray for healing for broken hearts, strength to stand alone in You, wisdom to know God's will, courage to do God's will, the peace, comfort and joy that can only be found in God!

Spring is coming!

I'll admit it, I have been right there with the majority complaining lately about the weather. I've most likely even been the one to bring it up once or a dozen times a day. (Pretty sure I even wrote a post about it just a week ago.) My body seems to be completely intolerable to cold weather. I often joke about moving to a much warmer climate eventually, or maybe it's not a joke, time will tell. The cold weather just makes me feel miserable. And the truth is we have been spoiled the past few years with our winters. While we had a few wintery events we had many above average days mixed in to seemingly balance it all out. So now when we have a real winter is seems so hard.

So yesterday as I'm driving  home from work and it's 13 degrees without the windchill, I started repeating to myself one more day, more day. Because you can do that mid February,  you can see the forecast and see that the odds of it continuing to be bitterly cold are coming to an end. You can know that soon 30's and 40's will be considred cold, then 50's and before you know it summer's here and spring has passed us by. And lets not get started on the flooding and tornadoes spring often brings. But I digress. I'm driving along repeating one more day, one more day, when I realize how ungrateful this probably sounds to God.

We live in one of the most unique climates in the world. You've probably heard people say if you don't like the weather in Southern Illinois just wait until tomorrow. And it's so true. I'ts always changing. We are fortunate to get to experience the dramatic changing of seasons. Seeing God's power displayed so prominently, and in so mnay different ways. Emerging flowers, budding tress, greening grass all from the rains of spring. Warm sunshine, flowers in full bloom, birds and butterflies of summer. Red, yellow and orange leaves blanketing the ground in the fall. And yes even the cold air that ushers in the snow and ice of winter. All displaying the beauty that is God!

So while I'm not saying you will never again hear me complain about the bitter cold, the week of rain or humidity that steals your breath when you walk outside. I will try to remember who gave us this day. Remember who ordained this day just as it is and be thankful rather than wishing it away. Look for the beauty on display each day.

Ready to run!

For the first time in my entire life I am excited about running! Crazy, I know... Let me explain.

I have spent a good majority of my weekend glued to my computer watching If : Gathering. The premise of If was, If God is real, then what? A call to this generation of women to rise up and do something. If we truly believe God is real, then what is He calling us to do? Many, many of these women I have either never heard of or don't know much about, but I have been blown away by the amount of passion for Jesus, the passion for living for Jesus that was displayed this weekend. Let me share with you just some of the quips I have taken away from the weekend:

"You are not a part of our thing Lord, You are the THING!" - Jen Hatmaker

A very powerful spoken word was delivered by Ann Voskamp and Amena Brown! "There is a whole Esther generation rising up right here and now and it is us."

"Let's redefine the comfort zone because everywhere He calls you to, the Great Comforter is there."  "Many of us settle for deliverance, not freedom." Christine Caine

Referring to church, the body of Christ "If a body becomes a business, doesn't that make it prostitution?" "Comparison is a thug that robs you of joy." "You can't measure souls, you can only love souls."

"Faith becomes real when it becomes relational." Kristin Armstrong

"Run yo race!" "You cannot run forward if you are always looking back." "Hurt people, hurt people. Free people, free people." Bianca Olthoff

"When talents and burdens collide that is where you find your calling." Rebekah Lyons

"Our yes hangs in the balance of a lot of people's future." Shelley Giglio

"So, are you dating Jesus? Ummm, no. I love Him, I really do but we aren't dating." "Take the time to know who you are in Christ first, no man can shape that for you." Melinda Doolittle on being single.

Laura Choy delivered the most heartbreaking story about a homeless woman she befriended.

"You have to play your one note and I'll play mine and together it's gonna play a song that brings freedom for the captives." "If we love mercy for ourselves we have to love it for everyone else." "Serving does not have to equal striving." "Do this in remembrance of me...  in other words, constantly make this real." Jen Hatmaker

And seriously these are just a few of the little tidbits. I could tell you story after story that touched me. There were many powerful testimonies, one from a woman who used to be a prostitute in Las Vegas, who now saved, runs a safe house for prostitutes to help get them off the street. Testimonies from women who have lost children, women who have adopted children, women who rescue girls from sex trafficking, women who help the homeless, women battling anxiety and depression, women who run nonprofits, women just like you and me. Every single one of them had a story, some were dramatic, all were emotional. Some started from the simplest thing like mowing a neighbors yard and showed how that has lead to countless other opportunities to minister to people. I would love to share with you about all of the women and how their story touched me but we would just be here for days.

So running you say, why did you say you were ready to run?

The focus of scripture for the weekend was Hebrews 12:1-3, running the race marked out for us. Remembering that we each have our own path to take, our own race to run. None of them should look the same. Breaking all measuring sticks we use to compare ourselves to other women and what they are doing. Remembering that we are responsible for our own obedience to the Lord. Others may guide us and help us grow, but ultimately it is up to each of us as individuals. Remembering that every person you see is a real person, with a name, with a story, and part of a family. Jesus loves every person, therefore we are called to love every person. Every, single, person, regardless of how much money they make, what job they choose, where they live, or maybe even whether or not they are clean. We are to love one another in unity regardless of religious theologies, or lack thereof. If sisters (and brothers) in Christ can not come together in agreement and love one another how can we show love to others who do not believe? But above all, as Bianca said, "Run yo race!"

And I thought the story for the weekend ended there. But I was wrong!

At church this morning, during the children's sermon of all times, my pastor, who I'm positive was not spending the weekend watching the If : Gathering, tied the whole thing up for me. He brought a piece of bread to show the children. He let them each inspect what the bread looked like, paying special attention to all the little holes in the bread. Then he asked them if they knew how those holes got there. The answer of course is yeast. So then the pastor pulled out yeast to show the kids. He made note of just how small yeast is, but how big it makes the bread. He shared with the kids (and O.K. all of us big people too) that while it's great to have goals and want to do big things. It's all the little things that really add up.

For me, after this weekend of hearing so many "regular" women share there stories about the ginormous things God was doing in their lives it would be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind and think I should only be on the lookout for callings that were equally as big. But if I do that I missed the point of the whole weekend. We were supposed to break our rulers, throw away the scales. Stop comparing. Remembering as Ann Voskamp said, "They don't make a scale that could ever measure value, worth or weight of a soul". No person, no soul is more important to minister to than another. We are to run OUR unique race and no one else's. We are to listen each day for instructions from the Lord. As one speaker illustrated, it's like pulling on a thread. The little tug God lays on your heart today will just be the first pull of the thread. But if you've ever found a loose thread you thought you would pull out and it just kept coming, pull after, pull, after pull. That one little tug leads to more and more of thread being exposed and if you keep pulling and pulling in time you have a whole mess of thread. The first pull of thread God is asking you to tug might need to happen right under your roof, or maybe at your neighbor's house. You see serving the Lord is no different, than that thread, we have no idea where one small action might lead, no idea just how much thread might begin to unravel, no idea just how big the bread might rise.

So run yo race and I'll keep running mine! Believe it or not I think I was already ready and running!

http://new.livestream.com/ifgathering/ifgathering
You can watch all of the sessions or pick and choose speakers to listen to, here for free for just over 24 more hours!
Session 1b starting at minute 5 is the spoken word by Amena Brown and Ann Voskamp.

Please pray...

I don't know about you but I am 100% over winter weather at this point. I am tired of being stuck in the house with seemingly "nothing to do". But when it looks like this outside:

There just isn't much getting out. Thankfully the sun came out today and starting melting the ice and we were able to chip lots of it away!

The good news is in a matter of just weeks this weather will only be a memory. For our family soccer practices and games will start soon. Track practices and meets will follow closely behind. Devin is going to graduate from the only school he has known for the last 10 years (PreK - 8th grade) and summer will begin. Of course there will be all the usual homework, work, meetings, Bible studies, etc. but there will be something even more exciting tucked in all of that. We are starting to prepare to leave for Belize!

This is the sunshine I'm dreaming about!

O.K., so this may not be the view of the country we will be taking in, but that is more than O.K, that is not the reason for this trip. We had our first official team meeting tonight. Every time we get together I get that much more excited about going. I know this trip will be difficult. I am a creature of comfort and habit, I will have neither of these. Add to that taking Devin and concern he handles the heat, the food, the culture and everything else a loving mom would worry about and you would think I would be a nervous wreck already. Usually my mind would already be overrun with fears and doubts but not this time. I have such peace that God wants us to go.

So what will we be doing there? Plans are not all definite yet, but we know for sure there will be a VBS with of course, crafts, recreation, music and sharing the story and love of Jesus Christ. We will possibly be doing some king of work in a nursing home or orphanage. If funds allow, we are hoping to provide food bags for families in the community we will be serving in. There will be possible repairs at the church we will be working with and maybe even painting a couple of houses. Lots of possibilities and I can't wait to share with you all of the details after I return!

Until then, our team of about 15 needs your help. We will leave mid June and possibly meet up with another team once we arrive in Belize. One of the many ways you could help our team would be to pray. Pray every single day until we return. The devil knows that God will be changing many lives that week in Belize. He will be attempting to throw as many distractions and obstacles into the lives of those God plans to be at work in. We need you to pray for the team during our time of preparation. Pray for the men, women and children God plans to put in our path that week. Pray for safety and health of all those who will be serving that week. Pray for each of us to grow so much closer to God in this time of preparation. Pray for Pastor Armstrong and his family as they prepare for our arrival to their church and community in Belize. Pray that our focus never strays from God's will. That we don't get caught up in our selfish desires but that we remain faithful to the Lord as we prepare and throughout our trip. There are so many ways you could pray.

Thank you so much!

And if there is ever anyway I can pray for you please don't hesitate to let me know!